Tagline: She’s your sister. Trust her.
Back tagline: Anything for a sister.
Summary: Abby would do anything to be in the school’s most exclusive sorority. And now she’s got the chance.
Because the sorority sisters have asked her to join them.
All Abby has to do is get through the initiation.
That might be a problem.
Because this year, the initiation is going to be….
Murder.
First impressions: An R.L. Stine original before the days of Fear Street! I’m expecting great things from this because it sounds like a great set-up to kill a bunch of teenagers. The cover is so boring though. I wonder if it’s going to have any relevance to the book. Let’s read!!
Recap
Meet the crew!
Abby – Our protagonist who we don’t like.
Gabriella – Abby’s sister who doesn’t get along with her.
Leila – Abby’s old high school best friend and the deuteragonist who we don’t like much either.
Nina – Abby’s old childhood best friend and the tritagonist, much more likeable than the others.
Andrea – The Tri Gamma president.
Jessie – A fatty pledge who has no business being in the Tri Gams [The characters’ opinion, not mine].
There’s more girls but they’re boring and not worth mentioning, so let’s read on!
We begin with our protagonist, Abby Wallis, and her sister, Gabriella, arguing about Abby’s invitation to pledge for Tri Gamma, “the most exclusive sorority at Rockland State!”. Gabriella thinks the whole sorority thing is lame, which pisses Abby off because it’s such an honour to be one of the 10 girls invited to pledge. Abby doesn’t understand Gabriella’s snooty behaviour and I briefly think Abby won’t be a horrible person, but then her own superiority complex comes to light:
She certainly wasn’t as pretty as Abby. And she wasn’t as smart, either, Abby decided. Sneering at an invitation to pledge the Tri Gamma Sorority was just plain stupid. And spiteful.
[God forbid someone someone has different interests, lol. I hate Abby already] Gabriella asserts that she has better things to do at college than be “talking about clothes and worrying about which boy will take her to the football game” [Oh snap], and the topic quickly changes to Abby’s new haircut. She reckons it’s the best she’s ever had, but Gabriella soon puts her in her place, saying it’s hard to get use to because it’s so short.
This pisses Abby off more and Gabriella leaves before mum comes up to see what the fuss is all about. Abby calls her mum “mother” which I find super pretentious [I can already tell everything this girl does is gonna piss me off. We’re only in the first chapter, is it too late to read something else?]. The pledge meeting for Tri Gamma is tonight and Abby asks her mother how she looks, but mum just informs her that her sweater tag is sticking out, sending Abby into another rage because no-one ever says anything nice about her in the family [Stop being a fucking bitch and maybe they would? Also your mother just saved you the embarrassment of going to pledge at a snobby sorority with your tag hanging out of your shirt, show some gratitude you little shit >:|].
Mrs. Wallis is concerned that Abby may not handle it well if she gets rejected from the sorority [Which makes me think Abby’s maybe had a mental breakdown or something before the events of the book? Based on some of the dialogue, the title is referring to someone’s mental health, which is a bit problematic by today’s standards, even if I don’t like the character it’s referring to], but Abby’s determined to get in no matter what.
Abby’s dresses up as an acorn for the Pledge meeting:
Her oversized gold sweater, and short, brown knit skirt over dark, patterned tights were just the right choice, she told herself – sophisticated, sexy, but casual.
[Sexy is the last thing I think of. She’s dressed like a daggy librarian in a teen film]. Abby takes the bus to Rockland State and when she jumps off to walk to the sorority house, a pizza boy on a bike looks her up and down as he rides past. Abby thinks it’s because she looks so00o0oOooo0OO0 good in her brown outfit, but I’m sure he had the same reaction I would’ve had:
As Abby nears the Tri Gamma house, she spots Leila, her old best friend that we later find out stole Abby’s boyfriend Gordon last year, heading inside [I prefer to view it as Leila saving Gordon from Abby’s attitude]. Abby hasn’t talked to either of them since it happened and considers going home:
She felt somehow betrayed, invaded. Leila is part of the past. What right did she have to enter Abby’s new world?
[???? I get being upset but, like, other people don’t just stop living their lives when you decide to cut them off. Imagine being this entitled. I’m trying to be more understanding because I really think Abby has some sort of mental condition but I really can’t stand the girl] Gordon barely graduated high school with the rest of the class and is a bit of a dropkick, so I guess there is a plus side to Abby’s situation. Inside, Abby’s expectations of “a vibrant and sparkling new world” are diminished when she realises the place is pretty rundown [Abby, you are killing me].
Abby’s not ready to face Leila just yet and ends up bumping into Nina, an old childhood friend. The friendship had dwindled in junior high and by high school, they were just too different and stopped hanging out. Also, I’m not sure how long into their freshman year of college this book takes place but they mention not seeing each other on campus before, so I guess it’s not right at the beginning of the school year.
Anyway, Nina mentions that Leila is her roommate on campus and thinks it’s just sooo00o0ooOooooO great that three girls from the same high school are pledging the Tri Gams, tehe! [If you’re wondering why I keep using different but similar names for the sorority, it’s because it’s done that way in the book. The sorority is knows as Gamma Gamma Gamma, or Tri Gamma, and the sisters are known as Tri Gams]. After Nina goes to chat with some other girls, Andrea, the president of the Tri Gams this year, demands everyone’s attention before Leila gets a chance to approach Abby [How rude, I want more awkwardness for Abby!].
Abby plonks herself down next to a redhead girl named Rebecca before Andrea starts the introductions. As she talks, Abby’s mind drifts to how close she was with Leila before Gordon was stolen from her [I’m sure you deserved it, Abby] until Andrea’s speech is interrupted by a latecomer who seems to “explode into the room” [Is that code for ‘she’s fat’?]. It’s Jessie, who explains that her bassoon lesson ran over [Oh god, Abby’s gonna have some thoughts about this girl]. Rebecca isn’t impressed with Jessie’s jeans because “they’re not even 501’s!” [Fuck off, Rebecca], and sure enough, Abby’s got her own nasty opinion:
Jessie wasn’t just under-dressed, Abby decided. Everything about her – from her bright red eyeglass frames and her unruly, mousy brown hair to her baggy jeans and loose-fitting sweatshirt, which only emphasized that she had a definite weight problem – indicated no desire to fit in with the others, no attempt to look like a Tri Gam!
[Stine really hates fat people!] The very next line mentions how Abby tries not to judge people by their appearances, which I’m finding very hard to believe based on everything we’ve seen already.
Rebecca informs Abby that Jessie’s the younger sister of a Tri Gam, so is automatically pledged, although relatives are not always accepted. Andrea continues with her speech, but is quickly interrupted by Jessie again, who wants to know if there’s any food, ideally sandwiches [Because she’s a bit of a heifer, in case you forgot since the previous page. We get it, Stine]. The Tri Gams didn’t organise any food because they weren’t planning for a big night, since everyone has course work to do, so Jessie shuts up.
Andrea next informs the girls that of the 10 pledges at the meeting, only five will become Tri Gams, but that’s not all – in order to weed out the unworthy, the girls will be taken to another town where they must commit a crime with the rest of their sisters. Being a Tri Gam is a lifelong commitment, and this will show who’s loyal enough to be a sister [Interesting. Do I smell a heist?!].
Nina and Abby grab a coffee after the meeting to catch up, which is just a guise for Abby to hopefully learn more about Gordon [Ugh, fuck off, Abby]. They debate whether Andrea was serious about committing a crime, but the conversation soon turns to Leila and Gordon, much to Abby’s delight.
Nina is worried that Leila might get dragged down by Gordon, who has no job, no money and no plans. Nina even saw them in the back of his car in the dorm parking lot after midnight, presumably having sex, although not directly mentioned [What else are two people gonna do in the back of a car after midnight?]. Nina mentions that if the campus police had stopped by, Leila could have been kicked out of school [Surely not, Nina. Do college officials dictate your personal life in America?].
They’re interrupted by Jessie, who plonks herself down uninvited and starts yammering away. She’s super excited about the crime, practically drooling on the table over it. Abby and Nina leave pretty quickly, obviously not huge fans of the girl and neither can believe that big fat Jessie might become a Tri Gam [Fat people don’t deserve the same opportunities as thin people, you know?]. Well, anyone Abby doesn’t like is OK in my book, hehe [I bet I’ll regret saying that; Jessie does seem annoying]. Outside the coffee shop, Abby glances back inside to see Jessie playing with a knife with a sinister smile on her face [Fear the fatties!].
Cut to Nina now, who’s just arrived back in her dorm to find an angry Leila waiting for her. Leila is angry that Nina was having coffee with her “biggest enemy” and we get some more backstory to this boring little love triangle, according to Leila:
“Abby was so upset when Gordon – when Gordon decided he liked me better – her mother had to take her out of school for nearly a year. She told everyone that Abby had gone to live with her grandmother for a while.”
[I’m sure she was in a psych ward or something instead. How’d she get into college, though? She would have missed a lot of schoolwork, right?] Nina suggests that Abby’s moved on, but Leila knows that’s impossible. Next, Leila gives Nina a present to help her with her spying. It’s a pair of binoculars, since Nina was watching Leila and Gordon in the back of the car “for 20 minutes” the other day [Oh God, Leila is just as intolerable as Abby :(]. Leila leaves her traitorous roommate in the dorm and storms out for the night.
Meanwhile, Abby arrives home to find Gabriella waiting for her in the dark [Why is this such a thing in movies/books? Who the hell just sits in a dark room for hours in silence until someone gets home?] Gabriella wants to hear all about the meeting and whether or not Abby will commit the crime, but Abby is in no mood for her sister’s sarcasm and heads up to bed, wondering how Gabriella even knew about the crime [Very strange, since it’s such a big secret between only the Tri Gams].
In her room, she’s surprised to find Gordon there, also waiting in the dark for her [Do people sneak into their friends’/partners’ houses as often as they do in Point Horror? Genuinely curious].
[Sidenote, this just fell out of the book:
This is great hahahahahaha] Back to the story and Gordon quickly hurries over to Abby and puts his “rough and hot” hand [Ew] over her mouth, telling her not to scream. He removes his hand and for a moment, Abby realises she wants him to keep it there and I’m wondering if we’re about to get a sex scene. Instead, we get a description of Gordon, who looks absolutely disgusting and I have no idea what Abby or Leila see in him:
His jeans were faded and torn at one knee. His sweat shirt had a grease stain down the left sleeve. It looked as if he’d been wearing it for weeks.
Gordon’s brown hair was long and fell in unwashed disarray nearly to his shoulders. Patches of dark stubble dotted is jutting jaw. His narrow blue eyes, set a bit too close to his nose, still seemed to be mocking everything they saw.
He still looks like Sean Penn, Abby decided. Like a big, unwashed Sean Penn.
[Seriously, what’s the appeal here?] He feels bad about last year and wants to apologise, except he never actually does apologise…. but for whatever reason, Abby moves in for pash, which he quickly returns [I hate them both]. Is she now stealing Gordon off Leila? Is it really stealing if you’re stealing something back from the person who stole it from you? [Is this the Brenda–Dylan–Kelly love triangle from ‘Beverly Hills, 90210?’].
We jump to a week later now and Abby’s on a minibus with the other pledges and Andrea as they arrive at their beachside mansion for the weekend, and it’s quite late at night. Three girls had decided not to come, too scared of committing a crime [I’m sure Abby had a lot of thoughts about some girls giving up the chance to be a Tri Gam so quickly, since it’s such a privilege].
On the bus ride, Abby noticed how Nina and Leila aren’t talking to each other [A week later and they still haven’t moved on? Leila, grow up], while Jessie continued to be loud and annoying at the back of the bus. A quick meeting inside the mansion sees the girls split up by Andrea into their rooms, and unfortunately for them, Abby and Leila are roommates [Suffer, bitches!]. Jessie kicks up a fuss about needing her own room, so Andrea allows it and everyone goes to bed straight away.
The next day, Andrea takes the girls on a tour of the small seaside town, with super creative shop names like Del’s Deli and the Old-Fashioned New Fashion Store. The town is a tourist hotspot during summer, but lucky for the girls it’s winter, when it’s most quiet. Leila and Abby are completely ignoring their problems with each other, acting all buddy-buddy, which is a lame because there’s gotta be a lot of animosity there [Give me the drama!].
The group finally arrive at Driftwood Antiques where they’re greeted by a little old lady named Marie. Andrea lies that they’re cheerleaders from Pennsylvania before Marie hurries to the back of the store to answer a phone call. Andrea orders the girls to memorise everything in the store, pointing out the register and the side exit in particular, because tomorrow they’re going to steal the extravagant jewels protected by a glass case and the money in the till [Stealing from a little old lady’s family business? Shame on you, Andrea. Although it’s highly likely that Marie is in on it, and it’s all a big joke to test the pledges’ loyalty or something]. Andrea orders them not to discuss it until the meeting tonight, where it will also be decided who’ll be carrying the gun [Oooooooooh, I wonder if it’ll be a real gun].
That night, before the meeting, Nina warns Abby that Leila shouldn’t be trusted just because she’s being nice and also explains why Leila isn’t speaking to her [Again, it’s been a week, Leila, get over it!]. At the meeting, Andrea explains to everyone the plan – they’ll tie Marie up and steal from the shop and have fake number plates on the bus so they can’t be tracked down. Andrea’s not worried about the police in the town because “they’re pretty old and fat” [That’s not really how the police force works, but like I said, it’s probably all a hoax anyway].
The girls draw straws to see who gets to carry the silver pistol that Andrea whips out of a locked cabinet, but it’s all too much for one pledge named Ruby, who refuses to participate. She’ll have to wait at the mansion until it’s time to leave, since there’s no phones to call anyone and the mansion is too from any other houses to walk somewhere [Why bother coming if you weren’t gonna participate, Ruby?]. Anyway, Nina draws the short straw, making her the gun-slinging bandit in tomorrow’s heist. Yeehaw!
In bed that night, Leila and Abby are discussing the Tri Gams when Gordon climbs through the window, claiming he just had to follow them [Not sure how he managed to follow them without being noticed, but okeh]. Abby is positively delighted and scurries over to give him a hug but he steps past her and embraces Leila, his girlfriend, instead [Hahahahahahahahaha you fkn idiot, Abby]. Leila gives Abby a weird look and Abby wants to die of embarrassment [I wish she would!]. Leila and Gordon sneak off for a few hours while Abby relives the embarrassment over and over, unable to fall asleep.
At breakfast the next morning, all the pledges are feeling nervous except for Jessie, who’s too busy wishing she could have a big, hot breakfast instead of the dirty old cereal and blueberry muffins on offer [Have I mentioned Jessie’s fat? Stine sure has]. As soon as the bus driver gets the Pennsylvania plates on, the girls head to Driftwood Antiques. Abby overheads Andrea telling a worried Nina that the gun only has blanks in it [Is she lying? Is Nina about to accidentally kill Marie? Or is the whole thing a sham, just like I suspect? Marie is too sweet to die but I hope there’s deaths in this book, otherwise boringggggg].
The bus parks out front of the store and Andrea instructs the girls to be in and out within three minutes and to board the bus slowly and naturally as they make their escape. She’ll be waiting with the bus, naturally [I guess she’s still part of the crime, but I thought the point was to all play a direct part in it?].
The girls head inside where Nina points the gun straight into Marie’s face as soon as she greets them [Bloody hell, Nina!]. Jessie is super into the heist, encouraging the other girls, while Nina is unsure she can go through with it and Leila’s pretty confident it’s all a big hoax that Marie’s in on [Same, girl]. Jessie swipes the gun off Nina and takes charge, and no sooner than that does poor old Marie die of a heart attack [And I oop].
Jessie checks for a pulse, but it’s too late for the sweet old woman [I reckon Jessie’s in on the prank], so the girls quickly head back to the mansion to gather their thoughts. Andrea quickly decides she had no responsibility for the murder because she wasn’t inside when Marie died [Who didn’t see that coming? Also I don’t really get why they’re so bent out of shape about this and think they’re murderers when she died of a heart attack? Granted they induced it, but they didn’t actually kill her]. Andrea decides to walk to the nearest house and call the police, but the girls protest because we’re all in this together before Jessie stops her with force.
Leila again tries to convince everyone it’s all a joke but Andrea is adamant that it’s not, but does agree to wait until 3pm so that everyone has time to decide for themselves that going to the police is the best option. Jessie decides to make sure Andrea doesn’t sneak away [What are you planning, Jessie?], while the rest return to their rooms.
In Leila and Abby’s room, the pair tries to comfort a hysterical Nina, with Leila still positive it’s all a big joke and that Marie was just acting. Jessie makes an appearance to sabotage Leila’s attempts, positive that Marie was 100% dead since she was the one who examined the body [You can’t fool me, Jessie! You’re in on this whole thing].
She then takes Nina back to her room and Leila quickly turns on Abby, demanding to know if there’s anything going on between her and Gordon. Abby’s all “of course not, silly poo” and starts applying some makeup, but an argument soon erupts between the pair. Leila reiterates that it was Gordon’s decision to leave Abby and apologises that Abby took it so hard [That’s not a real apology] and orders Abby to stay away from Gordon. Abby arks up, telling Leila “Don’t you ever threaten me!” [So tough!], and Leila is so surprised by the outburst that she leaves.
Gabriella suddenly appears, claiming she followed them there but won’t reveal why, only saying it’s definitely not to embarrass Abby [OK, I’m starting to think Gabriella’s just a figment of Abby’s imagination. I don’t think the mum interacted with her at the beginning of the book and no other character has interacted with her either]. Gabriella leaves just as quickly as she showed up, leaving Abby to rub red lipstick in circles all over her own face [Abby is definitely the “twisted” character the title of the book is referencing].
Meanwhile, Jessie and Nina are out on the porch discussing the situation and Jessie is weirdly confident that they won’t have to worry about Andrea [Did you kill her too, Jessie?]. A gunshot is heard and Nina spots Gordon running through the weeds near the dunes. Jessie suggests the gunshot was just hunters, because it’s duck season after all, and the pair head inside to finish the rest of the meeting.
The pledges are all tense and angry at each other, struggling to have a conversation until a while later, Abby realises Andrea’s not there [???? It really took that long for anyone to realise the one person who wanted to go to the police is missing? OK]. They search for her in her room and find her dead, according to Jessie, apparently shot [Again, probably part of the prank,. Also, I feel like Nina and Jessie would have realised that the gun shot they heard came from inside the house and not from some hunter outside somewhere?].
Abby’s quick to blame Jessie for the murder and the rest of the girls follow suit, except for Nina who reckons Gordon killed her. Leila lies that Gordon isn’t even there, but then who should turn up but none other than old mate Gordon, dripping wet in double denim.
Nina accuses him of the murder to his face, but he has no idea what’s she’s on about. Abby makes a fool of herself again as she tries to defend him, claiming he was with her the whole time after the earlier meeting and that they’re together. Although Gordon truthfully explains he was really there to see Leila and spent the night with her, Abby’s convinced herself she’s his girlfriend, and Leila feels bad because Abby genuinely believes her own story [Abby is twisted, you know?].
The girls lock Gordon in one of the unused bedrooms for now and spread out around the house. Nina is still distraught and can’t stop crying, so big fat Jessie offers her half a chocolate bar to calm her nerves [Eat your feelings, hun], and Nina begins to suspect Jessie of foul play because she’s so composed.
In the kitchen, Leila’s sipping some tea to calm her own nerves, thinking about how Gordon can’t be the killer because he’s “a marshmallow” before deciding to head up to her room to chat with Abby. Inside, her former friend is sitting at the desk with fresh makeup on, claiming that Abby is gone and she is, in fact, Abby’s sister, Gabriella [Knew it! Didn’t guess the split personality, though].
Leila’s like “Abby doesn’t have a sister”, but Gabriella just tells Leila that she’s super loyal to her sister and promised to always look after her when Abby was sent away due to Leila’s actions. Next, she whips out the silver pistol and aims it at Leila’s head. She’s apparently brought some real bullets from home for the occasion [Are bullets easy to get?].
Meanwhile, Nina and the rest of the girls discover a phone cord, even though Andrea had said there were no phones, and follow it, but discover it’s not attached to anything. They decide to look for a phone anyway, because obviously someone has hidden it [Because it’s all a big hoax! Except for the Abby thing]. Then they hear a crash and other sounds from the basement and head down to investigate.
Back to Abby/Gabriella, who’s forced Leila down to the smelly old basement to kill her with the gun as revenge for stealing Gordon, reasoning that the others won’t think of looking down here and will assume that Leila just ran away [Huh? How does that make any sense?]. All logic goes out the window when Leila argues that the others will hear the gunshot:
“I closed the door behind us,” Gabriella said, smiling again. “I’m a smart girl,” she said, practically purring. “They won’t hear. No one will hear.”
[??????????????????????????? I’m sorry, what? Is the door soundproof? Is the whole basement soundproof? I honestly can’t tell if this is poor writing by Stine or an insight into Abby/Gabriella’s fragile mindset…]
Gabriella’s just about to pull the trigger when… Gordon stops her! [Double denim to the rescue!]. He explains to Leila that Gabriella is Abby’s other personality [Yeah, I think she got that already] and this is what happened last time. He keeps calling her Abby, hoping it will bring her back to the surface, but Gabriella reckons she’ll just kill Gordon too because he broke all of his promises to Abby.
The other girls have finally come downstairs by this point and after some confusion where they think Gordon is attacking Abby, they realise who the deranged one really is. And then…………………………….. Andrea and Marie appear!
Yes, it was all a joke that they do every year and this weekend was really about testing the girls’ courage, not to commit an actual crime [God, I’m good at figuring these out so far], and they’re all Tri Gams now! [What about Ruby? She didn’t participate in the “crime” and it’s not like she had a choice about staying in the house after Andrea’s “dead” body was discovered]. Abby/Gabriella were not part of the plan though, and now Andrea feels bad so heads upstairs to fetch the hidden phone so they can call the police.
Nina vows to get rid of this tradition of hazing the new pledges and stays with her friend Gabriella while the rest of the girls head upstairs. Oh, and Jessie reveals to Nina that she was in on the prank the whole time and that’s why she was so calm [Duh, Fred].
Upstairs, Leila tells Gordon she wants to forget all about the Tri Gams and just wants to be with him [Lol gross] and later, some paramedics lead Abby to an ambulance as her two personalities have a conversation out loud. The end.
Final Thoughts
What a bloody let down. No deaths? The cliché prank ending? The split personality? LAME. Not what I want in my sorority horror novels. Abby and Leila were pretty bad protagonists, but nowhere near as bad as the banes of my existence, Dore and Martha. There were a lot of unnecessary characters, much like Ruby [“Who?” you ask. Exactly], that I didn’t even mention because they added nothing to the story.
I guess it kept my interest enough, so I’ll give it 4 Abbys smearing lipstick all over her face out of 23.
