Tagline: A party like no other…

Back tagline: An invitation to death.

Summary: It arrives on crisp, ivory paper, printed with elegant gold script.
Sarah has been invited to the social event of the year, Cass Rockham’s annual Fall Party.
But Sarah knows she isn’t popular or rich enough to be in Cass’s circle. To Cass, she’s a nobody. A loser.
So why was she invited?
Sarah hopes this will be a night she’ll never forget.
And it is. For unspeakable reasons….

First impressions: As a huge fan of slasher movies, I love the idea of a bunch of teens getting murdered in a party setting. But this is Point horror so I’ll be surprised if anyone actually dies. The name of the book and the cover definitely make it seem like you’ll be murdered if you don’t RSVP, rather than being murdered at the actual party. Only one way to find out. Let’s read!

Recap

Let’s meet the gang.
Sarah – Our main protagonist.
Cass – An absolute bitch who throws the party.
Ellie – Sarah’s friend and Ruth’s younger sister.
Maggie – Sarah’s friend who’s crushing on Donald.
Shane – A new girl in town with a secret about her past.
Donald – Sarah’s friend who’s crushing on Maggie, but has a girlfriend already.
Ruth – Ruth’s asshole sister who gives us one of the best lines in the book.
Riley – Sarah’s crush and part of Cass’ crew.

We begin with school bitch Cass as she finalises the invitations to her upcoming party, frothing over the disappointment she’s sure the people who don’t get one will feel [I hate her already]. This party will be different from her previous ones apparently, because it has one extra form of entertainment. We don’t find out what this entertainment will be yet, but I’m sure it will involve humiliating someone because Cass seems like that kind of girl.

Cut to Sarah and her friends, who have all been invited, which is super weird because Cass has never acknowledged them before. Of course she hasn’t. Sarah is suspicious about being invited, but best buds Maggie, Ellie and Donald are having an orgasm over it and convince her to go, while new member of the group Shane [A girl btw] is less enthusiastic.

We get a bit of backstory for the friends now as they each ponder about the titular invitation, which is good because we love character development! [Don’t think we need all 760 of these named characters to keep track of, though]. Ellie’s older sister, Ruth, is competing with Cass to be the book’s biggest bitch. She’s in total shock that Ellie was invited instead of her, and she gives us my favourite line of the book.

“You stupid cow, get out of my room!”

[Hahahaha why is this so funny? I love it].

Meanwhile, Shane’s mother pressures her to be popular and refers to an incident that happened in their old town but doesn’t reveal what happened, because we’re only at the start of the book and it needs to be dragged out as long as possible. Shane is happy with her group of friends and really doesn’t want to go. She’s also nervous about people finding out about whatever made her move to a new town in the first place.

Maggie and Donald secretly like each other but he’s already dating Dolly, who he met while they were counsellors at a summer camp. He’s tried to break things off with her a few times, but chickens out when she starts to get upset. He’s determined to end things before the party so he can tell Maggie how he feels, and Maggie herself is determined to take their friendship to the next level.

The big day arrives and everyone is getting ready separately. Ellie’s mole of a sister pours nail polish on Ellie’s dress because she’s a crabby about not being invited, which means Ellie has to wear an old dress of her mother’s that makes her look “like a fat clump of celery” [Hahahahahahahahaha, maybe this is my favourite line].

Elsewhere, Donald has finally broken up with Dolly, but she’s not giving up that easy and tells him he’ll regret it if he goes to the party without her. Shane and Sarah still aren’t super keen on going, but have agreed to because of their parents; Shane because her mother is desperate for her to be part of the popular crowd and Sarah as an act of rebellion because her mother doesn’t want her to go. Maggie is excited for Donald to see her in her black dress with spaghetti straps and sarong skirt [Sounds great, Maggie].

Later, the group arrive at the party and Cass immediately leads a game of musical chairs, making sure to stop the music on our five friends who are then individually led away and locked in a separate area of the house as follows:

Ellie – a stable.
Shane – the attic.
Donald – a man’s closet.
Maggie – basement pantry.
Sarah – a music room.

When all five are in their respective dungeons, Cass announces the real game of the night to the other guests – a scavenger hunt! Outside each of the five captive’s rooms is a sheet of stickers, each a different colour. Guests are given a torch and two cards, one with squares to place each coloured sticker, and the other with clues to the whereabouts of our friends. The first person to collect all five stickers wins “a big, fat gift certificate to the music store in the mall”, which would have been a huge deal in 1991 when this book came out [This scavenger hunt actually sounds super fun but there was literally no need to have people locked in the rooms????].

Riley, Sarah’s crush who is soooo0000oOoOOO cute, thinks this game is disgusting, but plays anyway, just so he can secretly release the captives, even though he’s never really talked to them [A Point Horror with a love interest who’s not problematic? We gotta stan!].

Elsewhere, someone bursts into the basement pantry and gags Maggie, kicking off a suspenseful scene that feels like something from a slasher movie [Which is great!]:

She had no chance to cry or fight back. In the next second, Maggie was shoved up against the shelves, a knee forcefully planted on her back, her face squashed into a row of cereal boxes as a rough, scratchy rope was wound around her hands, pinned behind her back. Suddenly she was being dragged backward, propelled by the arm around her neck. Struggling frantically against the painful grip, Maggie was yanked along the narrow corridor, to the open steel door, up stone steps, out a side door into a dark, deserted area beside the house, and then up a grassy slope leading away from the mansion.

[That’s just the start of it, but the whole scene is really effective in creating a suspenseful atmosphere] Eventually, Maggie’s dragged to the garage, which is quite a distance from the main house, where she’s thrown inside a car that’s had its window and door handles removed. The car is then turned on and the attacker exits the garage, leaving Maggie to die.

Meanwhile, Sarah escapes from the music room using a credit card to unlock the door [Clever!]. She goes in search of her friends so they can all leave together. In another section of the property, Ellie’s prison door is unlocked and whoever opens it tells her Cass wants to reward her for being such a good sport! Ellie has no reason to be suspicious, so of course she follows her saviour [RIP].

Sarah eventually finds Riley, who’s struggling to figure out the clues. Sarah figures out that the first one is referring to a man’s closet, and the pair set off to find her missing friends. At the same time, Donald, who’s in said closet, is knocked out by our mysterious attacker. When Riley and Sarah get to the closet, they find the lock broken and no-one inside, but they do find a scrap of black paper that reads, “Chill out, guys!” [They have no idea what it means, but I think it’s safe to assume that the attacker has set up their own scavenger hunt and Donald is probably locked in a freezer].

Elsewhere, Shane opens a pair of French doors where she’s locked up, only to shut them again, scared of what’s out there, although it does seem to be an exit [I’m assuming she’s not on the ground floor and is scared of heights, maybe? I’m sure we’ll find out later]. She also spots a black cat which scratches her when she tries to pet it [Hahahaha].

In the garage, Maggie hasn’t succumbed to the car fumes yet, but her hands remain tied behind her back. She realises as she fumbles around for a car key in the ignition that the car was hot wired, so she has no way to turn it off [Could she disconnect the wires or something?]. She starts screaming as a last effort attempt to bring attention to the garage.

Back in the house, Riley and Sarah head to the kitchen after following one of Cass’ original clues. They’re told by a catering staff member that the kitchen is off limits to guests, so head to the stables outside after figuring out the next clue.

Elsewhere, Ellie’s guide, who we find out is female but unrecognisable due to a large coat and floppy hat, has lead her through the woods to a small redwood structure. She pushes a reluctant Ellie inside and once again, Ellie is a prisoner [I don’t know why Ellie hasn’t been suspicious up until now, but OK]. Back in the garage, Maggie finally realises that she can floor the gas pedal and break through the wooden garage door, which seems like an obvious thing to do, but it never occurred to me.

It’s apparently pitch black inside the garage so she struggles a bit, but finally Maggie manages to change gears and crashes the car through the door, slipping unconscious as the car comes to a rest outside. Sarah and Riley hear the crash on their way to the stables and change course, where they find Maggie’s unconscious body in the car. The pair break through the window and revive her as Cass arrives, also lured by the crash. She accuses the trio of trying to steal the car and informs them it’s so far away because their chauffeur lives above the garage, but he’d been given the night off so he’s not there. Cass is super nonchalant about someone trying to murder Maggie and returns to the party [Bitch].

Even though she was almost killed, Maggie insists they find Donald, Shane and Ellie before calling the police just in case they’re in immediate danger too, and I don’t know whether to admire her bravery or question her intelligence. The trio makes it back to the party and Sarah and Riley leave Maggie to rest in a room full of people where she’ll be safe. As the pair puzzles over the clue that made it seem like it was about a pantry in the kitchen, Riley confesses he wishes they met under better circumstances and we all know they’re gonna kiss by the end of this night. [There’s nothing like your friend almost dying to get the loins burning!]

Two party guests who haven’t been mentioned in the book until now, Gabe and Gwen, suggest the clue means the basement pantry and then lead Sarah and Riley. They find another bit of black paper with “What a gas, man!” written on it. They realise this is referring to Maggie’s near-death and recall the other one they found, “Chill out, guys!” Gwen mentions the walk-in freezer on the other side of the basement, but the foursome discovers it locked.

Elsewhere, Shane is the only one still in her original hiding place and she’s currently arguing with the cat. She drops hints about her past, but we still have a few chapters left, so she doesn’t reveal the reason for her move to a new town.

Sarah rushes to the kitchen for the keys to the basement freezer, but the caterers refuse to give her the keys unless Cass says so. Sarah finds Cass, who’s reluctant but eventually relents to avoid having a dead body at her party. She refuses to go down to the basement though and continues partying [She’s a lovely girl].

Cass while her guests are being attacked

The foursome in the basement unlock the freezer to find a barely conscious Donald. While Gabe goes upstairs to get blankets and Gwen goes to fetch hot coffee, Sarah heads off to call an ambulance. As she reaches the phone, it starts ringing and another party guest answers it. He struggles to hear, but informs Sarah that it was some lady looking for her kid, who’s name sounded like Zane or Dane, and that someone named Lynn was after her. Could she have meant Lynn Loomis, a guy on the varsity football team? [A girl named Shane and a boy named Lynn? Very interesting].

But Sarah doesn’t know anyone named Zane or Dane… but both those names rhyme with Shane! Could that be what the woman on the phone was saying? What would Lynn Loomis want with Shane? Sarah doesn’t remember seeing him at the party [Obviously there’s another Lynn who is from Shane’s past, but no-one else in the book knows about that, so we can forgive Sarah for being clueless].

Sarah calls the ambulance and the group get Donald upstairs and reunited with Maggie. Maggie and Donald are relieved that the other is fine and no doubt they, too, will be in a relationship by the end of the night [I guess almost dying also makes you horny, hehe].

Then Sarah, Riley and Gwen continue their search for the remaining friends while Gabe goes back to party. They decide to split up and after a quick kiss for good luck, Riley heads towards the horse stables again while Sarah and Gwen follow the last original clue to the attic.

Back in the redwood building in the woods, Ellie is sure of two things – one, that she’s going to die soon because it’s soOoOo00Ooo hot in here and two, that it’s her horrible sister Ruth who’s doing this to her [I bet it’s not!]. Meanwhile, Shane is monologuing in the attic about how Cass must have found out her secret and told all her friends, and that’s why she’s been locked away and no-one is looking for her [So dramatic, this secret better be good].

Shane thinking about her secret past

Riley reaches the stables and finds the scrap bit of paper that has “Don’t sweat it, man!” written on it and quickly realises that whoever was locked here must now be at the new sauna Cass’ family had built in the woods [Why in the woods? Why would anyone want to go for a hike through the woods just to visit the sauna?]. But there are several paths leading into the woods and he doesn’t know which one leads to the sauna, so we’ve got a conundrum [How big is this damn property? It’s got a mansion with a basement pantry, a massive garage with a living space on top that’s apparently nowhere near the house, and now woods with several pathways?].

He finally finds the sauna and releases Sweaty Betty Ellie, who’s now unconscious, then flags down the ambulance that’s now approaching the house. Ellie, Maggie and Donald are taken away and Riley heads up to the attic to find Sarah and Gwen.

Meanwhile in the attic, Shane hears the door unlock and is horrified to see Lynn walk inside [!!!!!]. Are you ready for Shane’s big secret? It is fucking stupid and not worth the big fuss she and her mother have been making over it, lol.

Back in their old town, Lynn tricked her best friend Shane into helping her steal an expensive ring from the jewellery shop in the mall. Of course they got caught and were released on probation because of their age, but their walk of shame through the mall was witnessed by loads of people and word gets around fast in a small town. Then Lynn started spreading rumours that it was all Shane’s idea and she was so convincing that she started believing her own lies. The two girls were now outcasts and Lynn was kicked out of home, while Shane and her parents moved out of town to start fresh. Lynn wants revenge for being left behind to face the consequences alone. She also has no idea who Cass is, so the whole scavenger hunt thing was Cass just being a bitch. Classic Cass.

You may find yourself wondering how Lynn even knew about the party in the first place, or how she knew her way around the property. Well, she’s been in town for two weeks watching Shane and her new friends. She heard about the party and slipped in unnoticed that afternoon with the caterers for a tour, taking some of the clue cards and figuring out where Cass would hide our protagonists [So Lynn was smart enough to realise Cass was planning the hunt specifically for Shane and her friends? I don’t buy it, but whatever]. Shane also thinks about how Lynn has gained weight since last time she saw her because we haven’t had any fatphobia in this book yet [Remember, all fat people are evil].

Downstairs, Cass shuts down the party as Riley phones the police. Then they head for the attic, but find Sarah first, who has just come to after being knocked unconscious and has a bloody wound on her head. Gwen is nowhere in sight and Sarah and Riley are super worried. She could be hurt! But hang on, Cass didn’t invite Gwen to her party. In fact, she doesn’t even know anyone named Gwen… [So Gwen is Lynn!]. The trio burst into the attic and we get this gem of a line when they see Lynn with a knife to Shane’s neck:

“That isn’t Gwen, is it?” Sarah whispered to Riley. “Gwen has blonde hair. But she’s wearing Gwen’s clothes.”

[Has Sarah never seen a wig before, or known someone who changed their hair colour/style? It’s not like it drastically alters someone’s appearance to the point of being unrecognisable? Idiot]. Lynn plans to drag Shane out the French doors and onto the balcony, where she’s previously taken the railing off, and let Shane fall. Shane is super scared of heights and is scared of falling, which explains why she couldn’t go out the French doors earlier [Knew it]. Lynn also reveals she was targeting the others simply because they were friends with Shane, who doesn’t deserve friends [OK].

Our antagonist starts dragging Shane to the balcony but her plan is foiled by Sarah, who finds an antique dartboard in the attic and throws a dart at Lynn. Miraculously [And unrealistically], the dart connects with it’s exact target – Lynn’s knife-wielding hand at Shane’s throat [I wish it hit Shane, just for a laugh, hehe. But seriously, in the real world, what are the chances of Sarah’s throw being successful?!]. Lynn topples off the balcony to her death and Shane is saved. And what do you know, her new friends don’t care at all about her past as a common thief.

Cass reckons she’ll never throw another party again and the book ends with Riley and Sarah holding hands [Laaaaaaame].

Final Thoughts

I actually enjoyed this book, but Shane’s secret and Lynn’s motive were so stupid that they almost ruined the book for me. All the main characters were pretty likeable though, except Cass, of course. The female protagonists were way more efficient than the males, with Maggie and Sarah escaping by themselves and Sarah figuring out more clues than Riley, which was a nice change than the usual damsels in distress. It’s great to have a Point Horror with a strong focus on friendship and no toxic masculinity. I never thought I’d see the day! Some actual death scenes would have been nice, but I don’t mind that no-one died too much because the book still worked well without it.

The book also jumped around between the characters, which isn’t very common in Point Horror, but I think the main characters were fleshed out pretty well as a result. There was way too many side characters though, so I left a bunch out because they had no real relevance to the plot. Even some of the main characters could have been cut or condensed into one, like Maggie and Ellie.

I give this 12 stupid secret pasts as a common thief out of 15.

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