Tagline: N/A.
Back Tagline: N/A.
Summary: The night Robert Q and Darlene meet, the attraction is immediate.
The Big Man on Campus uses all his charm to sweep Darlene off her feet – and then dumps her a few weeks later.
After all, he’s just playing around.
Poor Robert Q. He doesn’t realise that Darlene is playing for keeps.
He may think it’s over. But he’s wrong. Dead wrong.
First Impressions: What kind of a name is Robert Q? Are we really gonna be calling him that throughout the whole thing? What the hell does the Q stand for? He sounds like a wanker but Darlene doesn’t seem all that great either, so I wonder who I’ll be rooting for. I really love how the Nightmare Hall covers open up to reveal something more ominous inside the room than what we initially see from the outside, it’s so creative. This might be one of the more boring ones though. Let’s read!
Recap
Roll call time:
Hailey – Our heroine who somewhat takes Darlene under her wing.
Robert Q – The big man on campus and an absolute flog.
Darlene – The unhinged “townie” at the centre of the mystery.
Nell – Hailey’s roommate who we love.
Finn – Hailey’s love interest who harbours a mysterious yet obvious secret.
Pete – Nell’s love interest and Finn’s best friend.
Bo – Darlene’s psycho ex-boyfriend.
The book begins with a pointless one-page prologue that tells us that the night that Robert Q Parker, III [Really?] and Darlene Riggs met was the night that all the horror started, which I’m sure you’ve all already realised from the blurb anyway [Filling pages, Hoh?].
Protagonist and Salem University freshman Hailey Kingman [Oh, I assumed from the blurb Robert Q would be our main character…] is at Burgers Etc., a popular campus hangout, when Darlene and Robert Q first meet. Blonde-haired sophomore Robert Q [I guess we’re really going with that as his name, then. It sounds so obnoxious, I hate it] is the big man on campus while curly-haired Darlene isn’t actually a student and just lives in Twin Falls, working as a waitress at Burgers Etc.
Strawberry blonde-haired Hailey is at a table with her roommate Nell [Whose hair we don’t get a description of unlike every other character], Jess and Ian [From The Silent Scream!] watching Rob have a perv on Darlene, who’s loving the attention [Men, am I right?]. They reckon Robert Q’s only flirting to get back at Gerrie, his ex-girlfriend who may or may not have dumped him for his best friend Richard, [The gang doesn’t know the full story, so neither do we :(], who are also both at Burgers Etc. tonight [Is the whole damn campus here or what?].
Nell, who we now learn has dark hair [Thanks, Hoh!] and is so thin that when she stands sideways, “I look like a door” [Hahahahahahahha I like her], can’t believe Darlene is interested in Robert Q and the conversation turns to what a krej Robert Q is:
“Always tossing money around as if he owned his own bank. He talks too loud, drives like a maniac, and gives new meaning to the term pushy.”
[…]
“Before he and Gerrie got together,” Hailey said, “he dated and discarded girls like used tissues. His little black book must be the size of an unabridged dictionary.”
As the ‘I hate Robert Q’ club continue to watch the flirting, Hailey starts thinking about her own lack of a love life. She’s had four dates since she started college, all unsuccessful, and she would absolutely love to have someone special in her life [Forget about boys and enjoy college life as a free woman!].
Hailey notices Pete [And doesn’t seem to be the same Pete from The Roommate], who lives in her dorm, standing with a hottie named Finn, who are also unimpressed with the Robert Q’s behaviour, before her attention is drawn back to Robert Q and Darlene, who have made plans to hang out after her shift. When Darlene comes to their table, Hailey introduces her to everyone in the hope to eventually warn her about the womanising Robert Q, but decides it’s too late and doesn’t say anything [Not sure why, it’s not like she’s with him right now lol] and just hopes the poor girl knows what she’s getting into [Literally how could she? She doesn’t go to Salem, why would she possibly know about the big man on campus and his arrogance?].
Two nights later, Hailey is blowdrying her hair in the communal bathroom of her dorm, Deveraux Hall, when who should walk in but Darlene Riggs, wearing a too-bright sweater and too much makeup [Leave her alone, Hailey]. Darlene remembers how nice Hailey was to her he other night and asks for her help to look more sophisticated and chic for her new man Robert Q, who she’s with tonight visiting one of his friends in the dorm.
Hailey knows that the Robert Q’s friends [One of which is named Puffy Wycroft, of all things hahahaha] are probably giving Darlene a hard time [Because she’s townie trash? Poor people are soooo gross, right?!], so Hailey politely offers to help Darlene any way she can. Darlene also mentions her old boyfriend Bo, who she dated all throughout high school but recently broke up with. He was super possessive and his jealousy drove her crazy, but she ultimately ended things because he didn’t get a scholarship to Salem and is now working in his dad’s garage:
“But I told him, I have to think of my future. Bo’s never going to get out of that garage. We both know that. And washing oil stand coveralls for the rest of my life is not what I want.”
[Wooooowwwwwww, Darlene. Maybe he doesn’t wanna date a waitress for the rest of his life? What the fuck is your career plan? Bo does sound pretty toxic though, so I’ll let it slide for now I guess]. A while later Darlene knocks on Hailey and Nell’s door and the girls give her a makeunder, giving her a more natural makeup look and managing her unruly hair, all the while Darlene bangs on and on about Robert Q. Hailey and Nell are sure Robert Q sees his new girl as less of a girlfriend and more of a root and boot, but still don’t warn Darlene about him [Just say something to the poor girl!].
Suddenly Robert Q storms into the room without knocking, which he feels is justified because “the door wasn’t locked” [Robert Q is a wankerrrrr] and practically drags Darlene out, yelling at her for making everyone wait [Poor Darlene, she’s jumped from one toxic relationship to another. Why are people so attracted to people who treat them like shit?]. Darlene is like a little puppy and eagerly trots along after him to head to a party [Darlene, self-respect please].
Over the next two weeks, Hailey constantly sees Darlene around campus with Robert Q or at the mall with the girls in his friendship group, Puffy [I can’t even think of what it might be short for! I love it and hate it at the same time hahaha], Susan and Lindsey, until at a frat party one night, Robert Q rocks up with another girl:
The girl was sleek and slim, with smooth, shiny dark hair brushed up and away from her face. She was beautifully dressed in expensive rust-coloured suede jeans and a silky cream-coloured blouse. As the pair entered the room, she glanced up at Robert Q adoringly.
Hailey’s worried about what Darlene must be going through, but Jess and Ian inform her this beautiful new girl is Darlene! This doesn’t sit right with Hailey, who liked how original Darlene was compared to the Puffys of the world, and later as she gets some ice in the kitchen, she overhears Puffy and Susan bitching about Darlene in the hallway. While Darlene thinks things are going amazingly, Robert Q has been sneaking around with Gerrie [I think we all saw this coming. Poor Darlene].
“Serves the girl right,” Puffy said out in the hall. “Does she really think a new hairdo and suede jeans are all she needs? She’s still just a diner waitress. Anyway,” she added with a disdainful sniff, “when will these townies learn they don’t belong with college boys? They should stick to their own kind.”
[OK, Puffy can go die. This makes me so fucking angry. It’s crazy to me that there are still people like this out there and it’s almost 30 decades later! Puffy’s definitely a Karen now]
Hailey is just as mad as I am and after a quick run-in with sexy Finn, she finds Darlene looking like “she’s being stabbed repeatedly with a very sharp knife” as she watches Robert Q and Gerrie having a boogie, all loved up. Darlene’s ex, Bo, who’s “the size of a small mountain”, storms into the party, calls Darlene stupid and prideless [Why couldn’t this behaviour be the reason Darlene left him instead of his occupation? It would make so much more sense. Or even have her break up with him for Robert Q at the start so then I can blame her negativity about his career on being sucked in to Robert Q and co.’s way of thinking!] and demands she leaves with him right now in his truck:
From somewhere behind Hailey, Puffy Wycroft said loudly, “Now how did I know this guy had a truck?”
And Richard Wentworth, looking amused, said, “The townie looks pretty shook. But if you ask me, this guy is perfect for her. He can sling her over his shoulder and haul her away caveman-style. Townies probably like that kind of stuff.”
[God, I hope someone kills Robert Q and his whole crew lol]. Bo threatens to turn Robert Q into silly putty if he goes near Darlene again before leaving, promising he’ll have the last laugh. Hailey follows Darlene to the bathroom to comfort her, but Robert Q can do no wrong in Darlene’s eyes and the delusional girl has decided that this is all Gerrie’s fault [Oh my fucking god, Darlene. I don’t know if I can get through this, guys. This book is making me so fucking mad hahahaha]. At some point in their very short relationship Robert Q told Darlene he loves her [Imagine telling someone you love them after two weeks, lol. Gross], so she clutches at this and vows to “rescue Robert Q from that tarantula” [Hahahahaha my new favourite insult! Also, it’s so funny to me that everyone calls him Robert Q. “Hey, Robert Q, what are you up to?” “Wanna get lunch, Robert Q?” “I love you, Robert Q!” So fucking stupid hahahaha].
Then the pair hear Robert Q offering Richard $25 to “take the townie home” and it finally becomes clear to Darlene that he doesn’t like her. She tells Hailey that if she was in fifth grade, she’d get her brother Mike to beat the boys up, but since she’s not she’ll take care of things herself:
“Robert Q Parker the third needs to learn that Darlene Riggs isn’t a toy.”
Her lips formed a thin, straight line. “He can’t just toss me away. He made promises.” The thin, straight line became a smile without humour. “It isn’t nice to break promises.”
The smile chilled Hailey to the bone.
“If Robert Q should ask,” Darlene said coolly, “tell him I went home and that I’ll explain when he calls me tomorrow. And,” she added grimly, “if he knows what’s good for him, he will call me tomorrow.” Then, in a lighter voice, she added, “See you, Hailey. Have fun.”
[I’m not enjoying that Darlene is written so child-like when everyone else acts their age, as if anyone who doesn’t go to college is too stupid for it and anyone who does is automatically 10 times better/smarter. Hopefully Hoh’s just exaggerating for the purpose of social commentary or something rather than it being a reflection of her beliefs…] After Darlene heads off to find Bo, Hailey wonders if she’ll be safe with him [Aww, bless] but reassures herself it was Robert Q he’d threatened, not Darlene, and returns to the party. She fills Jess and Ian in on the details and asks them about Darlene’s brother, Mike, on campus [Darlene never said he went to college though, so I’m not sure how she reached this conclusion], but they’re not aware of any siblings [They barely know Darlene, why would they know about her family?].
Suddenly, Hailey hears shouts from the backyard and everyone rushes outside to find Robert Q standing above an unconscious Gerrie, a pool of blood spreading from her head. Robert Q suggests something hit her from behind, like this nearby rock that’s covered in blood [Darlene, I hope you were aiming for Robert Q. Although Gerrie deserves it too xox].
Robert Q says they were the only two out here so has no idea how it happened, and Susan wonders out loud who would want to hurt Gerrie?! Hailey realises that even though Gerrie’s probably snubbed half the campus at some point, Darlene has the strongest motive. Lindsey, one of the girls in Robert Q’s group, realises the same thing and suggests Darlene is responsible [Too obvious, Lindsey!].
Gerrie wakes up as an ambulance arrives and Robert Q tags along to the hospital, but he’s more worried about leaving his car behind with a bunch of strangers than his injured girlfriend [Which is weird to me because any time you park your car in public you’re leaving it among strangers, right? He’s just a dick. I hope someone keys it, hehe].
Finn invites Hailey for a coffee and they have a cute little date at Vinnie’s, another local hangout known for its great pizza. I ship these two, even though she realises later she did most of the talking and barely knows anything about him [Yolo, he’s not Robert Q so I’m into it].
In the morning, Hailey tells Nell all about what happened at the party and is surprised by her friend’s nonchalance about the attack and lack of sympathy for Gerrie:
“You and I don’t act like Gerrie, pushing people around, treating everyone like dirt, so why should we worry? She made an enemy, that’s all. We don’t make enemies.”
[She’s got a good point!]. Nell leaves for her usual 30-minute run, but Hailey hardcore freaks out when she still hasn’t returned 90 minutes later [Oof, she better be OK! I like Nell]. She goes searching for her, worried that something bad has happened, but eventually finds her coming out of the science building. Nell explains that she bumped into Darlene on her run, who was looking for Robert Q but talked nonstop for 45 minutes, meaning Nell had to go straight to class instead of coming home to shower first. Nell thinks its weird that not once during the conversation did Darlene ask if Gerrie was alright, even though she’d mentioned knowing about the rock incident from her brother [I guess her brother does go to Salem, but still, Darlene never told Hailey that? I’m sure I didn’t miss anything].
Later, Darlene calls Hailey, positive Robert Q’s friends convinced him to ask Gerrie to dance last night because they don’t like Darlene. She’s once again in love with Robert Q and is absolutely sure he loves her too, so refuses to let it go after Hailey encourages her to forget about him [Darlene, you’re killing me].
It’s also revealed that the rumour around campus is that Gerrie’s having “serious vision problems” stemming from her injury before Darlene invites Hailey and Nell to a pizza party tonight [See what I mean about her being so juvenile compared to everyone else? Although a pizza party sounds pretty great!], and plans on inviting Robert Q and all his friends as well, but hangs up before Hailey can politely tell her that no-one will come [Rippppppp].
Nell can’t make it because she’s got a paper due the next day [That’s convenient, Nell!], so Hailey goes by herself [What a great friend], completely unsurprised when she’s the only one to show up. Poor Darlene has gotten dressed up and decorated her house “like a fourth-grader’s birthday party” as well!
She gets super angry that Robert Q didn’t show and terrifies Hailey when she starts slashing at a jacket he’d let her borrow one night with a knife [Darlene, just cut your losses and move on]. Darlene calms herself down and can’t even believe she was mad at Robert Q when it’s obviously everyone else’s fault he didn’t come. She cuts the party of two short to go speak to him, despite Hailey’s attempts to save her from more humiliation [Bless her heart].
Later on campus, Hailey sees people running towards Robert Q’s frat house and follows them to find Robert Q flailing around his precious car that is now on fire. Among the onlookers is Susan, who declares Darlene must be responsible, probably mad that no-one went to her pizza party. Susan also mourns for Robert Q’s poor burned hands that are “all red and scorched, like boiled lobsters” [Hahahahahaha what a weird description]. Finn, who’s also been watching the fun, explains to Hailey that Robert Q grabbed the door handles of the burning car to get to his suede jacket inside, despite everyone’s protests [Hahaha idiot].
The firefighters believe it was arson, which surprises Hailey for some reason [She clearly knows Darlene is the biggest suspect], and she walks Finn back to his dorm, explaining what happened at Darlene’s party on the way. Finn thinks it’s great that she cares about Darlene so much and wishes he could be so lucky, hehe [Maybe Finn is Darlene’s brother, going by a pseudonym to avoid any of the townie stigma?].
The next morning Darlene calls to tell Hailey she’s heading out of town to visit her sick grandmother for a few days [Yeah right! She just wants to avoid suspicion. I bet she’s not even leaving town!]. She wants Hailey to pass on her grandmother’s number to Robert Q [Are you fucking kidding me?], but Hailey has no intention of doing so [Oh, so now you want to actively help your friend?].
After the phone call, Hailey realises Darlene still hasn’t asked about Gerrie’s condition and wonders if she was lying about her grandmother so she could avoid any police questioning. She also decides Bo has just as big a motive for injuring Gerrie and torching the car [I’d say it’s a much lesser motive, but OK].
Darlene is the topic of the day around campus, with everyone assuming the scorned woman punished Gerrie and Robert Q for their behaviour, and she skipped town to avoid police questioning She also hears that the police went to Darlene’s house to question her, but she wasn’t there Couldn’t the police just go to Willowcreek to question her?].
When she arrives back at her dorm room, Hailey finds the whole place vandalised! Black paint is streaked across all the walls, the bedding is shredded, and Nell’s big poster about recycling had been slit, with Hailey’s graduation photo shoved inside to make it look like she was buried [Not sure why someone is targeting Hailey when she’s done nothing wrong, but OK. I don’t think Darlene or Bo are responsible for this particular incident, though. Maybe it was Robert Q or one of his cronies, punishing Hailey for her friendship with Darlene?].
Finn conveniently appears [Sussssssss] and waits with Hailey for Nell to return before security arrives to take their statements. When asked if she has any idea who would do something like this, Hailey only suggests Bo, Darlene’s ex, even though she’s fully aware Darlene could be responsible [She’s still a damn suspect, I don’t know why Hailey’s not telling them anything].
The girls are then relocated to an empty room on the fourth floor, unallowed to remove anything from the crime scene until the police investigate. Some other fourth-floor girls [One of whom is named Delsey… wtf is with these names?!] bring some bedding, towels and school supplies to Hailey and Nell to tide them over, and the pair are overwhelmed by all the kindness [Puffy, Susan and Lindsey wouldn’t do that!].
Then Finn takes the two girls to dinner at Burgers Etc. to get their minds off everything. While there, they see that Robert Q has a brand-new car already and has wasted no time finding a new random girl to canoodle with after Gerrie has to leave town for a delicate operation to heal her sight [What a grub! I hope he dies].
The next morning, the girls are asked by security to identify if any of their belongings are missing from their old room. Upon investigation, all their expensive items are still there, but Nell realises their hair supplies and makeup stuff is all missing. She lies to security about it though, not wanting to seem silly [Nell, please. Stolen property is stolen property]. The last time they even used all their makeup and hair stuff together was when they helped Darlene with her hair and makeup, [I doubt that was the last time, but let’s go with it], so Nell suggests that Darlene blames them for Robert Q dumping her because pf the makeover they gave her [I guess that makes sense as her motive, but I don’t really buy it].
Hailey and Nell head to the mall to replace their missing items on the shuttle bus, not wanting to drive themselves because of all the snow on the roads, and among the passengers is Puffy, Lindsey and Robert Q. Finn and Pete are also onboard and they explain to the girls how Robert Q got into an argument with his besties, Richard and Lyle. Apparently Robert Q had said Hailey and Nell deserved to have their rooms trashed because they wouldn’t mind their own business, so Richard and Lyle accused him of vandalising it. Robert Q freaked out and called them idiots, and that’s that [So Bo, Darlene and Robert Q are our leading suspects for the trashed room, but there’s no way Robert Q is guilty of the rock throwing or car fire, so I doubt he did it. Bo is the most likely suspect at the point, but even he’s probably a bit too obvious].
The bus drops Finn and Pete off at the diner [Which I’m assuming is Burgers Etc.] and Robert Q jumps off too, telling Puffy and Lindsey that he’s not eating “mall food” and will catch them later [Because diner food is so0oOooOOOooOo000O00O0 much better than mall food, right?]. At the mall, Hailey thinks she sees Darlene in the drugstore and starts running around the place like an idiot, but can’t find Darlene or any doppelgangers [Ooky spooky! Has Darlene been in town the whole time?!].
As Hailey and Nell they wait for the shuttle bus to take them home later, Richard, Lyle, Puffy and Lindsey come out to find that someone is in Richard’s car. Through the snow storm they can see the lights are on and as Richard runs over to confront the thief, whoever’s inside the car guns it towards him:
Richard’s body flew up into the air, sailed through the sea of white, and landed only a few feet from the stricken crowd beneath the canopy.
Had he landed on the thick carpet of fluffy snow, Richard Wentworth might have survived.
But he wasn’t that lucky. There was a second thud as his body slammed with full force into a huge wooden planter placed to the right of the canopied area.
[Ayyyyyyy, he’s dead! Robert Q or Puffy next, plz xx]. The driver speeds off without stopping, and a hysterical Lindsey claims she saw Darlene in the driver’s seat and that she must be out for revenge!
Back at the dorm, Hailey and Nell decide to call the number Darlene left just to make sure she is at her grandmother’s, but they realise Hailey’s bag, where she had the number stored, is missing. They think it was snatched back at the food court and are super scared because the keys to their new dorm room and Hailey’s car are also in the bag [Well, don’t leave your stuff unattended in a public place, dumbass].
Discussion turns to Richard’s death, with Nell pointing out that Richard must have known the driver and believed they would never run him down or else he would have jumped out of the way [I probably would have still jumped out of the way, but okeh], before Finn calls to offer his condolences to the girls for witnessing such a horrible act [He literally pops up after every single thing, so he’s definitely suss. He’s not even on Hailey’s suspect list yet either!].
Darlene calls Hailey from her grandmother’s the next morning to talk about Richard’s death, which she heard about on the news and through her brother. She feels sorry for Gerrie [Which is the first time she’s mentioned her!], since she and Richard had gotten closer while Gerrie was in hospital, according to Darlene’s friend who worked there. She’s not sad about Richard’s death though, because she’s never hated anyone as much as she hated him on the night he “wanted money from Robert Q” to take her home from the party [I can’t deal with how delusional this girl is].
After the phone call, Hailey creeps back to her room [Wait, where was the phone if it wasn’t in her room?] and watches people frolicking about in the snow outside through the window, including Robert Q and his gang. Finn and Pete arrive to hang out with the girls, and they’ve brought Hailey’s missing bag! It was downstairs with the girl at the sign in desk, who said it was under the desk when she started her shift. Hailey’s relieved to discover her wallet and keys are still inside [Surely whoever had it made a copy of her keys though].
The gang heads outside for a romp in the snow and Hailey learns from Jess that Gerrie, who hasn’t been transferred to another hospital for her operation yet due to the weather, learnt about Richard’s death on the news – none of her friends even had the decency to visit her and break the news in person [They’re too busy frolicking in the snow, Jess!]. Hailey’s disgusted at how quickly Robert Q and co. have moved on from the death of their close friend.
Later, Hailey tries to get information about Mike, Darlene’s brother, from the administration building, but the office is closed. The Dean’s office is open, however, and Hailey overhears the Dean accusing Puffy and Susan of cheating on their history test! They had similar answers, which they claim is because they study together, but an anonymous phone call lead them to Susan’s tennis locker [Is lockers in college a thing? Also, a tennis locker?], where they found the professor’s personal notes regarding the test [They were obviously framed, but they deserve it so I don’t care].
Hailey dashes back to her dorm and tells Nell, Pete and Finn the new. Like me, she believes the girls were framed, since Susan is so smart she wouldn’t need to cheat, and even if she did steal the notes, she wouldn’t have told anyone besides Puffy, and Puffy would never turn her in. So who made the anonymous call? [Whoever framed them, of course!].
The next day, Hailey finds out that Richard’s car was found halfway between Twin Falls and Willowcreek, where Darlene’s supposedly been staying. Hailey calls Darlene at her grandmother’s, and Darlene’s way too excited that Puffy and Susan might be kicked out of school. She mentions how pretty soon, Robert Q will have no-one but her [Darlene, you’re not really helping your own case here]:
Robert Q Parker had not shown the slightest bit of interest in the town girl named Darlene Riggs after she’d left Twin Falls.
Yet here was Darlene, yearning to be with Robert Q to comfort him.
It was so unreal.
The next day after asking around about Mike Riggs and realising no-one seems to know him, Hailey returns to her dorm determined to call Darlene’s parents, because if Mike wasn’t there, they’d know how to reach him. She’s distracted by the open window, though, which she realises Nell would never have left open on a freezing day like today. As she goes to close it, she realises someone else must have opened it before she’s pushed out the window [!!!]. Her purse strap gets caught on something and saves her from the four-storey drop, and Nell, Pete and Finn arrive to pull her to safety.
When the police arrive, she asks them if they questioned Bo yet, but apparently he’d also skipped town, whereabouts unknown [Darlene and Bo could be in this together, but I feel like someone else is the bad guy. There’s still something suss about Finn too]. Two days later, a well-rested Hailey searches the administration building for information on Mike Riggs, but is told there’s no files of anyone going by that name [My Finn/Mike theory is starting to make more sense!].
She drives to Darlene’s house, hoping Mike is there or at least one of their parents, but finds Finn walking down the front steps. He claims he was there hoping to speak to Darlene because he’s also suspicious about what’s been happening, but no-one was home [Bullshit, he’s definitely Mike Rigg!]. They go to the diner and meet up with Jess and Ian, where Ian points out that someone could have copied her room key while her bag was missing, which explains how someone got inside. As Hailey drops Finn at his dorm later, they share a kiss [Ooh la la!].
The next morning, she realises she hasn’t brought Mike up to Finn yet and heads to Lester Dorm to ask him before class. The guy at the reception tells her that no-one named Finn Conran lives there [He lives at Darlene’s house because he’s her brother, duh. I wonder how much longer this Mike Riggs mystery will be dragged out for. There’s still 50 pages to go lol, rip]. Hailey is all “wtf” and heads to her class, where she bumps into Pete, who’s positive Finn lives at Lester, and her friend Beth, who actually does live at Lester and is just as positive that Finn doesn’t live there [Can we move this plot point along?].
Hailey and Finn go on a cute date that night where they bump into Ian and Milo [Our red herring from The Silent Scream] and discuss how everyone who has been somehow involved with Darlene has had something terrible happen to them. Everyone except… Nell!!! Hailey and Finn race back to the dorm where they find Nell in bed, sound asleep , although they initially think she’s been smothered to death because her head is beneath the pillow.
After Finn leaves, Hailey watches from the window and spots him getting on the shuttle bus headed into town instead of going library to study, like he said. She follows the bus in her car to see what’s really going on [For fuck sake, Hailey, it couldn’t be more obvious that Finn is Mike!]. Finn gets off the bus and heads to Darlene’s house, but Hailey decides that if she can’t trust Finn, she doesn’t want to know about it [Are you fucking kidding me?], but does see him greeted at the door by Mrs. Riggs before she heads home.
She phones the Riggs family the next day and makes up a story about needing to give Mike something of Darlene’s but, has no idea what he looks like. Mrs. Riggs tells her Mike looks like his father and was wearing a blue knitted sweater when he left, and tells her what class he’s in at that moment, so Hailey speeds off and waits for the class to finish. Hailey spots Finn, Pete, Robert Q file out of the class later, but there’s no-onein a blue sweater. She bumps into Pete later, who offers to suss out some information about Mike for her [Maybe Pete’s Mike?! He’s just relevant to the story enough to be hiding in the shadows attacking everyone. It makes more sense for it to be Finn though. Mike isn’t necessarily the bad guy though, so maybe Pete is the culprit] before Hailey wanders off, questioning who to trust [No-one, girl!].
Later, she bumps into Milo again who tells her he found out from a waitress who grew up with Darlene that Mike is her half-brother [He means step though, because his mum married her dad; they don’t share a parent] and goes by a different last name, which explains why Hailey can’t find anyone by the name of Michael Riggs! Hailey returns to the dorm to call Darlene at her grandmother’s house again to find out once and for all who her brother is [It’s about fucking time. She should have done this like 14 chapters ago].
Hailey can’t get a word in edgewise on the phone because Darlene starts yapping about how Bo Jessup has been in Willowcreek with his aunt this whole time, trying to work up the nerve to apologise to Darlene and now she’s in love and obsessed with him instead of “that creep, Robert Q”:
Darlene went on, “Bo hates working in the garage, so he’s going to quit, and we’re going to take some courses together at Salem – he’s so wonderful, Hailey, I can’t stand to be away from him for even a single second – I make him call me first thing every morning and last thing at night…”
[Darlene needs psychological help, urgently]. Darlene also mentions that Mike got to go to Salem because he had some money his father had given him, whereas her parents couldn’t afford to send her to college, and she knew that they believed “it wasn’t as important for a girl to go” [Oh my god, wow. Fair enough they can’t afford it but it sucks they didn’t even trying to set their daughter up for a good future]. When Darlene finally pauses for a breath, Hailey is able to ask Darlene about her brother [Get ready, this is an absolute shocker and I had no idea it was coming because it seems so out of the blue] – Darlene’s brother is none other than Michael Finn Conran, who goes by Finn in honour of his dad, although he’s still called Mike at home.
She’s just sooo00oo0oOOo00O shocked that her beloved Finn is Darlene’s brother [And I’m shocked she didn’t figure it out herself. Idiot]. Suddenly there’s footsteps outside the door while she’s on the phone, making Hailey nervous because she’s home alone [So now the phone is in their room? What?]. It’s just Pete though, who Hailey drags along to find Nell, suspecting she’s in danger because she’s the last person connected to Darlene who hasn’t had something bad happen.
On the way, Hailey realises Pete knew about Finn’s relation to Darlene, and he explains that Finn asked him to keep it a secret so he could ask around about all the accidents, knowing that people wouldn’t tell him anything if they knew he was the brother of everyone’s number one suspect [Makes sense to me!]. Then when Hailey was pushed out the window, Finn convinced him that if Hailey knew his secret, she’d be in even more danger, so Pete lied about it for Hailey’s sake [My hero!].
Pete also reveals that Finn had left the diner early the day Richard was killed and wasn’t originally with Pete and Nell when they rescued Hailey from the window – he was outside her door, claiming to have just gotten off the elevator! Pete thinks that Finn has been the attacker all along now [But that’s way too obvious now that we have confirmation he’s Darlene’s sibling. I’m suss on Pete now because he seems awfully keen to throw his best friend under the bus, and he could easily be lying about it all. He also never explained why he was outside her room, either. I guess it could have been be to visit Nell, but maybe it was to murder!].
They spot Nell safe and sound at the pep rally with some friends, so Hailey decides to head over to Finn’s house and confront him about all his lies, with Pete tagging along. They stop by the library first though, so Pete can use the pay phone to call the police and give them Finn’s address [Did you really call the police, Pete?].
At the Riggs’ house, they let themselves in with a key from beneath the welcome mat after Pete convinces Hailey that if they wait for the police, she won’t get a chance to talk to Finn privately about everything [Very suss, Pete]. Pete reckons Finn is in the darkroom down in the basement, supposedly working on something, so down they head. There’s a wall full of exercise equipment in the basement and Pete picks up a heavy-looking dumbbell [Presumably to bash Hailey’s head in, not to protect them from Finn]. My suspicions are confirmed when Pete’s demeanour turns sinister and admits Finn is probably at the pep rally looking for Hailey:
“He’ll probably be home soon. Finn’s one of those boring people who needs a good night’s sleep.” Pete hefted the dumbbell again, this time aiming it slightly in Hailey’s direction. “And when he does walk in, he’s going to find you on this nice fake wood floor with your skull bashed in.”
[Took me a little bit, but I figured it out yet again! Put me in one of these books – I’ll solve the mystery within three pages, I bet you!]
True to final girl form, she wants to know why he’s doing all this, kicking off our bad guy monologue. If Finn wasn’t gonna do anything to defend Darlene except suss out who really threw the rock at Gerrie, then Pete would! Hailey reckons she knew Finn was innocent the whole time [You did fucking not, Hailey], but Pete puts her in her place:
“Oh, you did not,” Pete countered with a sneer. “Not five minutes ago, you thought he did it all. You bought my story, hook, line, and sinker. I could see it in your face.”
[Hahaha nice try, Hailey]. He didn’t call the police either, which sucks for her. He continues with his monologue, revealing he’s been friends with the Finn and Darlene since they were all kids and has been in love with Darlene forever, but she only sees him as more like a brother. After what happened with Robert Q, he decided to get even with everyone who hurt her, thinking it’d make Darlene like him [Throughout all this, Hailey is constantly like “It was you who threw the rock?! It was you who killed Richard?!” Are you even listening to his spiel, Hailey?]. Hailey and Nell had to be punished because they encouraged her behavior, helping her fit in with Robert Q’s crowd with the makeover [Dude, punish Darlene for wanting to fit in and for dating Robert Q in the first place?! Pleb]. His plan is to kill Hailey now and frame Finn for everything [What a great friend!].
Hailey escaped into the dark room and locks herself inside as Pete tries to break down the door. The only thing she can find to defend herself with is some jugs of chemicals [Oooh, burn his face off, Hailey!]. Pete busts through the door and just as he’s about to strike her with the dumbbell, Hailey throws a dishpan of chemicals into his face and escapes upstairs, locking him in the basement. She calls the police and waits for them outside. She sees Finn running towards the house, and silently vows that they’ll get through the issues between them [Lying to protect his sister is not that big an issue, Hailey].
The end.
Final thoughts
This one was definitely better than The Roommate, but that’s to be expected since Deathkins wrote that one. Kudos to Diane Hoh for featuring some of the absolute worst names I’ve ever heard of. Puffy? Delsey? Robert Q?! I guess Darlene was the most trashy townie-sounding name she could think of, but at least it’s a real name!
I liked the consistency of featuring characters from previous books too, which helps tie everything together. Like Fear Street, though, it seems like not every book will specifically take place at the titular location, but that’s OK.
Despite taking way too long to figure out the mystery, even during the bad guy monologue, Hailey was a decent enough protagonist and I love that she genuinely cared about Darlene, regardless of what her college chums thought. The whole fiasco could easily have been prevented if she’d just explained what a creep Robert Q is from the start.
I didn’t like how immature Darlene was written, which totally plays up the idea that people from small towns are all stupid. But if Twin Falls is big enough to have a damn college, surely it’s not as white trash as Puffy and her squad like to believe?
There also wasn’t enough death for a book with ‘dead’ in the title – Robert Q and most of his friends should definitely have been killed, or at least suffered injuries as bad as Gerrie’s near-blindness. Hopefully as the series continues, we’ll get more slain college kids.
It was still a pretty good read, even though both of the twists were pretty predictable, so I’ll give it 50 Puffy Wycrofts out of 71!
