I’m still not over how good the Goosebumps theme song is. Probably one of the greatest theme tunes of all time [Don’t try to argue, it’s the truth xo].
The episode begins with our protagonist, Lucy Dark [A great last name], scaring her little brother Randy in the backyard with a made-up story about a monster, which happens to be her favourite pastime because she’s a little cow. This one’s about the Toe-Biter, who Lucy claims ate the toes of two of their neighbours. Randy falls for it hook, line and sinker when she puts her foot in the bushes and pretends the Toe-Biter’s got her, running into the house to warn his mother about the monster. Mrs. Dark scolds her daughter, but Lucy’s all like “what’s the point of having a little brother if you can’t torture him” [True, but her brother was absolutely traumatised. Oh well, it was funny hahaha].
Lucy heads to the library for Reading Rangers, a book club, where she talks shit about ‘Black Beauty’ not having enough monsters to the librarian, Mr. Mortman [This girl’s only personality trait is liking monsters].
After she scours the shelves for another book more to her taste with her friend Aaron, another Reading Ranger [Looks like these are the only two members lol], she settles on ‘Frankenstein’. As she checks it out at the desk, Aaron gushes over how cool it would be if monsters were real, but Mr. Mortman argues that people prefer to be scared through movies and books, “not in real life” [A very good point, although I’ll admit I’ve always wanted to live through a horror movie situation].
This gets Lucy thinking as she walks home with Aaron – isn’t Mr. Mortman soOooo00o00oooo creepy with his beady little eyes and sweaty little hands that made her almost drop the book when he handed it with her because “it was so slimy” [OK let’s not bully the poor guy, kids].
Lucy realises she forget her rollerblades at the library and heads back alone, where she witnesses Mr. Mortman feeding some crickets to a tarantula before munching on a handful himself. Hidden from sight, she watches as he transforms into a monster and continues to devour the bugs.
Lucy runs straight home to tell her parents about the real-life monster she’s seen, but because she’s always banging on about them, they don’t believe her. Mr. Dark admits he hoped all this stuff about monsters was just a phase she’s going through, but Lucy hits him with “life is a phase I’m going through!” [Amen, Lucy]. Unable to convince her parents, she calls Aaron who also doesn’t believe her, so she vows to prove it to him as she eyes off the camera on her desk.
At the next Reading Rangers meeting, Lucy’s asks Mr. Mortman if he believes din monsters, to which he suggests “perhaps we all have a little monster in us” [This episode is deep]. Afterwards, she pretends to leave the library and spies on Mr. Mortman as he transforms again once again before gobbling down the tarantula, which is clearly a puppet in his mouth [Which is fine, but like at least make it the same size??] Lucy takes a photo, but is easily seen by Mr. Mortman, who encourages her to run because he loves fast food.
He chases her around the library in yet another paedophilic moment for the series, cornering her amongst the shelves. She crawls through his legs [Which was way too easy for her] and escapes the library with her camera. Back home, she calls Aaron to brag about her proof, but he quickly points out that Lucy’s library account has her address on it, so he could easily be on his way over there.
Sure enough, Mr. Mortman’s knocking on the door right now in his human form, asking to come in. Although she’s home alone, Lucy locks the door and bluffs that her parents are home, calling out “Mum, is dad still cleaning his rifle” [Hahahaha nice try]. Mr. Mortman is undeterred, here to give Lucy her bag that she left at the library, and he really wants to come in [I’m sure it’s completely unintentional but this series seems to have a lot of predatory behaviour so far. Like, this is how kids get kidnapped! It adds a different level of fear as an adult that I never really thought of as a kid].
He eventually leaves and when Lucy’s parents get home, she tells them about the encounter and forces them to take her to the photo place to get the film developed from her camera. Before she can inspect the developed photos, she bumps into Mr. Mortman outside the photo place. Despite his seedy behaviour, Lucy’s parents invite him over for dinner tomorrow night [Yes, great idea, let’s invite the man our daughter is afraid of over for dinner].
We cut to the next night, where it’s revealed Mr. Mortman doesn’t appear in the photo Lucy took of him [Ooky spooky!]. She argues it’s proof that he’s a monster, but her parents tell her to knock it off since he’s just arrived. Mr. Mortman asks what’s for dinner, and Mr. and Mrs. Dark inform him “you are”. They grow fangs and transform into snake-like creatures [Unfortunately, we don’t get a lingering glimpse of their monster forms because it’s spliced with shots of Mr. Mortman cowering in fear]. They quickly scoff him down as Lucy and Randy watch on in horror [Do they not know what their parents are?].
When they’re done, the parents transform back to their human form and the family discuss how they can never tell anyone they’re a family of monsters and the importance of remaining the only monsters in town, so that their secret is never found out and they aren’t chased away. They also apologise to Lucy for not believing her sooner – Mr. Mortman’s the first other monster they’ve seen in 20 years [Is this racism?!? I’m thinking yes]. Lucy and Randy are excited to reach the age where they get their “training fangs” and can transform just like their parents. Cute!
Soon, they notice another monster outside their window and Mr. and Mrs. Dark start sprouting fangs again. It’s only Aaron wearing a mask though [Which seemed totally random but now that I think about it, maybe he wanted to play a prank on Lucy?], who obnoxiously invites himself in for dessert [Don’t you have your own home to eat at?] as the parents halt their transformation. “What’s for dessert?” asks Aaron, to which daddy Dark replies “You…like cherry pie?” and the episode ends with the whole family laughing for what feels like 10 minutes while Aaron watches on dumbly.
Final thoughts
Definitely a step up from The Cuckoo Clock of Doom, and a lot more interesting. Like The Haunted Mask, it could have done a bit more showing rather than telling in regards to Lucy’s habit of making up monster stories, especially to tie in with the ‘Boy Who Cried Wolf’-style theme. Although honestly it’s not as huge a deal here because Lucy’s character worked well enough without it and we got a decent amount of screen time for monster Mortman instead. The practical effects were also pretty good too!
I am left with two very glaring questions though – if Lucy and Randy know they’re monsters, why the hell is he so scared of Lucy’s stories about them? And why is Lucy constantly making up stories about monsters when it could potentially blow their cover if someone believes her? From memory this twist ending is the same as the book, but I can’t remember if it’s explained better there.
Anyway, as I mentioned earlier, my mind can’t help but notice how predatory some of the behaviour has been in the series. Obviously it’s just my adult brain interpreting the content differently to how I did when I was a kid because as adults, our fears are based more in real-life situations. I have no doubt that the show isn’t intended to be looked at this way, but I find it interesting that the show is still scary when watching as an adult, albeit in a completely different way to how a kid would view it. I wonder if I’ll pick up on this sort of thing when re-reading the books, or if it’s more of a visual thing?
62 tarantula-eating librarians out of 67.
