Tagline: Two’s company. But three can be murder.
Back tagline:
2 Cool
2 Live
4 Long
Summary: No girl in her right mind would say no to a date with Bobby Newkirk. Not with those great looks, that easy charm, and the awesome way he plays the guitar. Of course, some people think he’s just a bit conceited. But when it comes to breaking hearts, that hasn’t slowed Bobby down one bit.
At least, not until the beautiful Wade twins move to Shadyside. And Bobby brags to his friends that they’ll both fall for him.
And they do. Too bad for Bobby the twins never learned to share. One of them is jealous, murderously jealous. Is it quiet, shy Bree? Or bold, sexy Samantha? Bobby had better figure it out… or his double fun will turn to double terror.
First impression: Bobby sounds awful so it’s pretty much guaranteed I’ll be complaining a lot in this one 😇. I’m excited for some murderous jealousy, though! It sounds like Bobby’s two-timing the twins rather than going on double dates with them, so the title’s probably not accurate but oh well.
I don’t think I like this cover; all three of them look lifeless in the eyes. Do they know the background girl, who I’m assuming is Bree because surely bold, sexy Samantha is the one with the tattoo, is standing there, watching them? Why is she being so obvious? If she’s a threat, why doesn’t she look more angry? And what the hell is that tagline on the back? 💀💀 I hate it and love it at the same time.
Unfortunately my copy doesn’t have the tattoos inside, but I think I’ve seen them online a while ago and they’re just a blue butterfly like the morose-looking girl has on her shoulder. Let’s read!
Recap
Meet the cast:
Bobby – Our womanising protagonist that we hate.
Bree – The shy, quiet twin.
Samantha – The bold, sexy twin.
Arnie – The joker best friend.
Melanie – Arnie’s girlfriend and Bobby’s ex.
The book begins after school one day as our cocky, rich protagonist Bobby Newkirk [It’s not often we see a male protagonist!] corners cheerleader Ronnie Mitchell at her locker, ignoring her protests and refusing to let her go. He gives her a smooch, which she returns, then finally allows her to break free. She playfully scolds him but it seems like she’s into it, and we learn they went on a date last night. Ronnie’s got to go to cheerleading practice but asks to hang out later, but Bobby turns her down because he’s got music practice and heads off, allowing her the pleasure of watching him walk away. She pleadingly shouts after him to call her tonight, but Bobby tells her maybe and keeps walking. Ronnie’s an OK gal, but the reason he’d asked her out is because she’s the only cheerleader he hadn’t gone out with yet – ‘He had to have a perfect record. He had to check Ronnie off his list.’ [Ew, I hate him already] Apparently every girl wants a piece of Bobby Newkirk, but I don’t see the appeal.
Further down the hall, Bobby bumps into his friends, Jerry Marvin and Markie Drew, [Who we never see again in this book lol] who want to know if he’s still dating Cari Taylor, but Bobby explains how he dumped her and made her walk home after she spilled Coke in his car. He’s more than happy to let the boys have his rejects, though, so I guess he’s got some good in him… Next, Bobby’s quickly confronted by cheerleader Kimmy Bass, who’s pissed because they had a study date last night. Bobby cruelly tells her he got a better offer, so she calls him a pig and storms off.
Bobby finally enters the music room where the two members of his band, Arnie and Paul [Whose last names are never revealed. Www.librarything.com says it’s Arnie Tobin from The New Girl and they have similar personalities, so it’s probably right. The site also says this is Paul Gordon, who’s in The New Boy, but I haven’t read that yet] are waiting. They practice at school because none of them have room to practice at home, and we also learn the band recently changed their name from The Cool Guys to Bad to the Bone. [Omfg, find a third option please hahahahahahaha]
Bobby plays the guitar, dark-skinned, athletic Paul [Diversity!!] plays the keyboard and takes the band very seriously, and goofy, redheaded Arnie isn’t very skilled on the drums but is in the band because he’s Bobby’s best friend. [So they don’t have a singer?] Before the boys can start practicing, the Wade twins enter looking for the music teacher. The identical twins moved to Shadyside last year and ‘quickly assumed the reputation as the most beautiful girls in the school.’ They both have creamy skin and black hair [It’s brown on the cover lol], green eyes and warm smiles. Bree’s shy and barely speaks while Sam is lively and outgoing. They have friends but aren’t close with anyone, and have dated but haven’t had boyfriends. Bobby’s thought about asking one of them out in the past, but never got around to it. [Surprising that he hasn’t made time for the most beautiful girls in school]
The twins head off to search for the teacher elsewhere, turning down Bobby’s suggestion to stay and listen to them practice, and Bobby wonders what it would be like to date both twins at the same time. Paul thinks that’s low, even for Bobby, but Bobby’s conceit has no limits and he bets his sceptical friends that he can date both twins in one weekend without them finding out. [I hope all the girls he’s ever wronged can get their revenge on this scum]
After practice, Melanie Harris comes to visit while Bobby and Arnie are still packing up their things. She’s short and chunky but has a killer smile, and Bobby actually dated her for three months last year, a record for him! She’d tearfully ended things when she learned he was dating other girls behind her back, and now she’s dating Arnie, but Bobby doesn’t mind because he doesn’t like emotional girls; ‘Why did she have to cry the night she broke up with me? he wondered. Was she trying to make me feel bad?’ [OK, so Bobby feels no empathy and doesn’t have a conscience. Is there any pros to this guy besides his looks?!] Melanie looks great in her tight jeans and when Arnie’s done with her, Bobby might even ask her out again ‘if she’d lose a few pounds’. [I haaaaaate him]
Arnie tells Melanie about Bobby’s plan with the twins and she warns him to stay away from them – ‘”They’re not what you think.'” Bobby heads off to find the twins anyway, deciding Melanie’s just not over him yet because who wouldn’t be. He bumps into one of the twins at her locker, and she shyly introduces herself as Bree [Or is it Samantha pretending to be Bree?! That seems like a Fear Street plot] before explaining they were looking for the music teacher to see if it’s too late to join choir. Bobby talks up his own guitar/singing skills [Oh, he’s the singer] but thinks his band could use a girl singer, and while Bree doesn’t think she could sing rock music, Samantha might be into the idea.
Bobby invited Bree to come to The Mill [First mentioned on the blog in The Overnight, and I don’t think I’ve seen it in anything I’ve recapped since] on Friday night, where Bad to the Bone is playing. Bree, who lives on Fear Street, accepts the invitation and offers to give him her address, but Bobby tells her he’ll find it and pick her up Friday at 7:30. [I have no idea why he doesn’t just let her tell him her address?]
We cut to Bobby’s bedroom that night, where Arnie’s congratulating him on scoring a date with Bree while Bobby struts around chanting, ‘”I’m cool. I’m cool,”‘ [Yes, that’s a very cool thing to do, Bobby…] because girls “‘just can’t say no to Bobby the Man.”‘ [Ugh, go die] Bobby declares that Arnie’s about to witness him make history when he calls Samantha to ask her out for Saturday night, and Arnie’s excitement prompts Bobby to realise they’re such good friends because ‘Arnie’s my biggest fan.’ [Everything Bobby says or thinks fkn irks me]
As Bobby finds the Wades’ number in the Shadyside High directory, [Is/was that a thing in America? Students get a phone book with everyone’s numbers?] Arnie points out that Bree might answer, but Bobby’s confident he can tell the girls apart. [Even though he couldn’t tell which one he talked to at the locker until she introduced herself] Instead of waiting for the girl who answers to say who she is, he’s like, ‘”Hello—Samantha?”‘ because he’s an idiot, and whether it’s Samantha or Bree, she goes along with it. Her voice is loud, not soft and velvety like Bree’s, so maybe Bobby does know which is which. Bobby tells her who’s calling and Samantha exclaims she was just talking about him with Bree and offers to get her, but Bobby explains it’s her he’d called for.
Bobby tells her how Bree mentioned Samantha might be interested on singing in Bad to the Bone, but Samantha laughs scornfully and can’t believe Bree would say that. She politely rejects the offer, explaining she’s only good in a big group or the shower, and then Bobby asks her out for Saturday night. Samantha doesn’t think Bree would like that, but Bobby insists Bree doesn’t have to know. Samantha angrily demands to know whether he was dared or made some kind of bet to date both of them, but he insists he’s just been thinking about her when he sees her at school:
A long silence. Bobby waited patiently, his eyes on Arnie.
She’s going to say yes, he told himself. She’s hot for me and she knows it. She is stoked. She’s no different from all the other girls at school. She wants to go out with Bobby the Man.
[I can’t even put into words what a fkn loser this guy is] She questions whether he really thinks she’d do that to her sister, and Bobby insists that of course she would because she’s dying to go out with him. Luckily for Bobby, Samantha actually likes conceited guys [Her words, not mine] and agrees to a movie date on Saturday night because ‘”What [Bree] doesn’t know won’t hurt her—much.”‘ Bobby has no idea what Samantha means by this but doesn’t question it, and they organise to meet at the mall at 8pm.
Bobby and Arnie celebrate by strutting around the room, shouting and whooping, and Arnie can’t believe Bobby pulled it off, exclaiming ‘”This is the coolest thing I ever heard of!”‘ [Really, Arnie? Really?] Arnie wonders why Melanie warned Bobby against dating the twins, and Bobby suggests it’s because she’s weird; ‘”What could happen, man?”‘ [Your death, hopefully]
We cut to Friday night as Bad to the Bone plays their set at The Mill. Bree’s dancing alone up the back, and she looks great in a black mini skirt over red tights and a sleeveless red T-shirt. After their set, he dances with Bree for a bit, but Bobby notices she’s too self-conscious to be a good dancer. They head for the exit for some fresh air and bump into Paul, in case we needed another example of how awful Bobby is:
“We were great! We were awesome! Rock ‘n’ roll!” Bobby cried, slapping him on the back.
Paul smiled halfheartedly. “We were doing okay, Bobby, until you pulled your amp cord out. Why did you decide to start strutting and dancing around like that?”
“Show biz, man!” Bobby cried. “Show biz. You’ve got to put on a show for them! Rock ‘n’ roll, man! They loved us! Did you see their faces? They loved us!”
Paul shook his head. “But you were taking away from us, man! We looked like your backup group.”
“They loved us! Bobby repeated. “They ate it up!”
Bobby then spots Melanie dancing with Arnie and nastily thinks to himself how chubby she looks in those shorts and hopes she splits them open. [Ugh, I don’t know if I can get through this whole book with this guy as our protagonist] Bobby and Bree head to his car and cruise around Shadyside for a while, but he does most of the talking. We learn about Bobby’s science project, which involves real monkeys he was able to get through his uncle, an animal importer that works for zoos. It’s a diet experiment, with Wayne getting only bananas and water and Garth getting a mixed of foods. [I see Stine’s a fan of Wayne’s World!] The monkeys will be returned to the zoo at the end of the experiment, and the science teacher takes them home on weekends. [I feel like this wouldn’t happen in real life… Like, real monkeys for a high school science experiment? Surely not]
Bobby’s struggling to work out how into him Bree is; like, of course she’s into him, but does she really like him? A little before midnight, he pulls up to her house and she practically jumps into his lap after he turns the car off. She starts longingly pashing him and invites him over tomorrow night, but Bobby has to turn her down. Her watches her head inside, pretty pleased with how the night went for Bobby the Man – ‘If she’s the shy one, I can’t wait to check out her sister!’
It’s Saturday night now, and Samantha’s arriving a few minutes late at the mall. She’s looking sexy in loose denim shorts and a magenta midriff blouse, and she immediately tells him Bree’s over there, watching. It’s just a little prank, and Samantha tells Bobby that Bree had a great time last night and seems to really like him. Samantha admits it’s not very nice of her to go out with Bobby tonight, but she obviously doesn’t feel too bad because she then declares that nice is boring! [#TeamBree]
Samantha mentions hearing all about Bobby from other girls at school, but won’t reveal what’s been said. At her suggestion, they walk around the mall and talk instead of seeing a movie, and at one point Samantha says it’s weird that Bobby and Arnie are best friends. Instead of elaborating, she pulls him into a jewellery store called Gold Barn and starts trying on the earrings [Like literally trying them on, inserting them into her pierced ears 🤮 ] before a saleswoman tells her that’s against policy.
Bobby complains about how exciting it is to watch her try on earrings, and Samantha decides to show him some real excitement by walking straight out of the store with a pair, without paying! Two salespeople order them to stop and race towards them, but Samantha takes off, quickly followed by Bobby, who isn’t happy about the theft but doesn’t want to look like a wimp. They end up losing their pursuers and make their way to Bobby’s car, where Samantha insists on driving. She’s an absolute hoon behind the wheel, backing out of the car space without looking and then flooring it out to the main road, and because he doesn’t want to seem uncool, he doesn’t ask her to slow down. [You’re already uncool] Samantha speeds all the way up to River Ridge, Shadyside’s make-out spot, and as they kiss, Bobby can’t wait for school on Monday where he’s sure to be the talk of Shadyside High:
When word gets out about this weekend—the all-Wade weekend—everyone will know who’s the coolest guy in school!
I am the king! Bobby thought, kissing her again.
The king of rock ‘n’ roll!
[He literally thinks about himself while kissing someone, I fkn can’t hahahaha] After a while of smooching, Samantha asks if he likes her better than Bree, which he confirms. Her smile fades as she mentions again that Bree really likes him, and she warns him not to hurt her sister because ‘”Bree is kind of fragile”‘ and can be strange when she’s hurt. She doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, so Bobby has no idea what exactly she means. [Normally I hate this sort of thing, but because I hate Bobby I want to see him suffer with as little information as possible xx]
An unspecified amount of days later, Bobby’s heading to the music room after school for band practice. He passes Kimmy Bass at her locker and tugs at her hair before asking if she’s doing anything Saturday night. Kimmy’s angry and suspicious but tells him she’s got no plans, so he’s got a suggestion for her – ‘”Then why not take a bath?”‘ [Which is funny but I don’t want to laugh because I hate him haha]
Melanie’s in the music room with Arnie and Paul when Bobby arrives, and as usual she doesn’t hide her disdain. She demands to know if it’s true that Bree turned up at his house while he was having a study date with Samantha, and Bobby confirms it proudly, explaining Samantha snuck out the back as Bree came into the living room. Melanie’s friends with both girls but is worried about how hurt Bree will be when she learns about Bobby and Samantha, especially since the whole school is talking about it, [How does she not already know then?] but as Bobby puts it, ‘”That’s the breaks.”‘ [Ughhhhh he makes me so mad]
Later that night, Bobby’s thinking about the twins instead of studying when the phone rings. The voice on the other end whispers, ‘”Two’s company. Three’s a crowd,”‘ repeatedly and menacingly promises that Bobby will pay double. [Oooooh] He thinks it’s Samantha playing a prank, but it’s actually Arnie, and they discuss the twins and how unhappy Melanie is about the whole situation.
The call is interrupted by the doorbell ringing, and Bobby finds Bree at the door. She’s looks very upset, so Bobby suspects she’s found out about him and Samantha. He contemplate whether to tell the truth or gaslight her completely, ultimately deciding that he’ll just tell Bree that she’s his favourite twin because ‘girls just want to be told that they’re the best.’ [Bobby is teaching me a lot about women] Anyway, Bree explains that Samantha’s been seeing someone, but she won’t tell Bree who, so Bree’s upset because they’ve always confided in each other and never kept secrets. Bobby offers to ask around at school to see if anyone knows who Samantha’s seeing, and then they share a long emotional kiss.
When she leaves, Bobby starts strutting around the house again, chanting ‘”Who’s the greatest? Who’s the greatest?”‘ and I’m still struggling to cope with how arrogant this dickhead is:
It was so easy to control girls, Bobby decided. A piece of cake!
You just had to tell them how great they were and act real sympathetic to every dumb thing they said—and they’d fall for you.
Of course, it helps to have my good looks, Bobby told himself. And it helps to be rich and drive a cool car.
But you’ve got to know how to talk to girls, how to make them think you really care about them.
His self-congratulation is interrupted by a phone call from Samantha, who also sounds upset. She warns Bobby that Bree’s on her way over and suspects something, but Bobby explains she already visited and their secret is safe. Still, Samantha wants him to break up with Bree ASAP; she’s tired of sharing him, and Bree’s starting to go over the edge. Samantha reminds him of Bree’s glass-like fragility and if she breaks, she could do anything… [Kinda want Bree to snap and kill Bobby, but also don’t want her to have to face the consequences. Also, I’m thinking Samantha is actually the unhinged one, based on her behaviour]
On Saturday night, Bobby stupidly lets Samantha drive his car to the mall, and she speeds her way there without stopping once despite Bobby’s pleas to slow down. [Don’t mind looking like a wimp now, Bobby?] Samantha laughs and admits she loves it when he’s frightened [Hahahahaha] and soon they’re pulling into a car space. Bobby angrily warns her that her license will be taken away if the police had have stopped them, but Samantha assures him they won’t take it away because ‘”I don’t have a driver’s license.”‘
[Please keep ignoring the red flags, Bobby; hopefully you’ll die soon] As they explore the mall, Bobby wonders why Samantha is so reckless and contemplates axing her to stick with Bree. They stop for a bite at Pete’s Pizza, where Samantha asks if he’d broken up with Bree yet. Bobby had taken her to a party last night at Suki Thomas‘s place but didn’t end things, although he changes the subject to avoid answering Samantha’s question. Samantha then boasts about making his life more exciting and pressures him into saying she’s more exciting than Bree.
Afterwards, they go into a department store where Samantha goes directly the the jewellery section. She points out a charm bracelet she wants and insists Bobby shoplift it for her. He initially refuses, but Samantha starts calling him a wimp, and no-one calls Bobby Newkirk a wimp! To save his masculinity, which is as fragile as Samantha claims Bree is, he lifts the lid on the glass case, setting off a loud alarm. They manage to escape with the bracelet and while Bobby wants to leave the mall straight away, Samantha’s craving a milkshake. A nervous Bobby scans the area for security guards but his eyes fall upon Bree, staring at them in wide-eyed shock.
Bobby thinks fast and explains that he’d bumped into Samantha and believed it to be Free. Samantha corroborates the lie, and Bobby notices that she’s stuttering and trembling like crazy, as if she’s frightened of her sister. Bree still seems suspicious but relaxes a bit, explaining she came to buy some new jeans. Bobby attempts to worm his way into hanging out with both of them at the same time, a two-for-one deal, but Samantha quickly leads Bree away to help her shop.
Roaming the mall alone, Bobby considers dropping both girls because other girls at school are being deprived of Bobby the man, [🤮 ] but there’s just something special about the twins – ‘there are two of them—and I’ve got them both!’ He silently gloats about how he’ll go down in history at Shadyside High and they might even have to dedicate a trophy to him in the display case in the front hall; ‘BOBBY THE MAN, it’ll say. BOTH WADE TWINS AT ONCE!’ [I think I’ll lose it if Bobby hasn’t been humbled by the end of the book. He’s seriously disgusting]
Bobby finally heads back to his car to find that the front tyres have been slashed. Who would do such a thing?! [Me] He hears a car stop behind him and turns around to find Melanie in the driver’s seat with a strange, amused smile. He assumes she’s the culprit, especially because she’s acting super friendly which is unlike her, and when he tells her what happened to his tyres she agrees to give him a lift home, commenting how lucky it was that she drove by.
Bobby spends Sunday thinking about Melanie and his slashed tyres. At first he’s convinced she’s responsible, jealous that he’s dating the twins instead of her, [Oh, please] but then he decides she’s happy with Arnie and doesn’t want him back. She’s good friends with the twins, though, so she could have done it out of anger, But does Melanie even care that much?
His answer was no. No way.
Girls aren’t strong enough to cut tires that deeply, Bobby told himself. Girls don’t know how to handle knives. No way.
[I’m surprised on his take on women and knives; with how he treats women I’d have thought he believes they belong in the kitchen!] It’s after school on Monday now, and Bobby’s heading to band practise with the newly renamed Desperadoes [Slightly better than Bad to the Bone] when he notices Bree heading into the auditorium for choir practice. He chases after her but is intercepted by Samantha, who coldly questions whether he’s falling for Bree. He denies it, of course, and allows her to lead him to the science lab for a make-out sesh.
Samantha pulls her T-shirt down off her left shoulder, revealing a blue butterfly tattoo, and explains that this is how he can tell the twins apart – ‘”Bree would never get a tattoo.”‘ Samantha then urges him to drop Bree again; she doesn’t care about her feelings anymore, just get it done! Samantha insists she’s not being selfish, but it’s for Bobby’s own good. [OK, so you didn’t want him to hurt her because she’s fragile, but now you do want him to hurt her?] Bobby agrees just to shut her up and they start kissing again before they’re interrupted by the monkeys chattering excitedly in their cage. [I still can’t get over the school allowing this… Like, surely it’s animal cruelty to keep them in a cage for however long, when they’d be used to the wild or a proper zoo enclosure?]
Samantha shows off her own science experiment, leading him to a giant glass aquarium. Yellow sand covers the bottom, and crawling over the sand are large red cannibal ants from New Zealand. Despite their name, they’re feasting on a dead mouse, and Samantha has a cold detachment in her eyes that unnerves Bobby as she matter-of-factly tells him the ants eat 20 times their bodyweight every day. Bobby then heads off to practice, leaving Samantha staring intently at the ants. [I googled cannibal ants and they don’t seem to be real. Maybe they are in the Shadyside universe though]
It’s Friday now, and the Desperadoes are about to play a set in front of the whole school during the spring show, whatever that is. As they wait for the previous act to finish, Paul wants to make sure Bobby’s not planning on prancing around like a rooster again, but Bobby being Bobby ignores him and turns up the collar of his bright red shirt to look cool. [So cool, Bobby] Bobby spots Kimmy Bass standing by the stage door, glaring at him, and Arnie mentions that she’s been telling anyone who’ll listen that Bobby’s a sexist pig.
As usual, Bobby assumes she’s jealous, but unfortunately for Kimmy he doesn’t have time ‘”for all the bow-wows in this school!”‘ Now it’s time to hit the stage, where their instruments are already set up for them. Bobby turns his amp up almost all the way, not caring that it’ll drown out Paul’s keyboard, [So you don’t care about the whole band sounding good, just yourself?] and also stands in front of Paul to be even more of a dick. As soon as Bobby strums the guitar, a hard jolt sends him sprawling backwards:
Stunned, he heard a loud crackle.
The crackle became a roar.
His arms flailed helplessly above his head as his body jolted again. Again.
I can’t breathe! he thought just before he dropped into a shimmering pool of deep, endlessly deep blackness.
[I wonder if Paul tampered with the amp to punish Bobby’s showboating] Unfortunately Bobby’s still alive [Boooooooooooooooooo] and comes too with people crowding around him, including Arnie with a strange smile on his lips, and an expressionless Melanie and Kimmy. Paul calls out from near the amp, holding up the it’s lead wire, which is all frayed because someone cut it! Remembering his slashed tyres, Bobby wonders if someone is trying to kill him. [I sure hope so]
A few hours later, Bobby’s in his room on the phone to Samantha, asking if she thinks Bree cut the cord. Samantha doesn’t think she knows about their affair, but reiterates that Bree could do anything if she did find out. Bree’s suddenly standing in the open doorway, so Bobby quickly hangs up, lying that he was on the phone to Arnie. Bree expresses how worried she was when he collapsed on stage and tells him how much he means to her as she wraps her arms around him for a kiss.
It’s Monday afternoon now and Bobby’s with Arnie at The Corner. Arnie makes fun of Bobby’s electrocution, as does David Metcalf, who’s here with Cory Brooks, [Both from The New Girl] but Bobby insists that someone’s really out to get him. Arnie heads off to make a brief phone call and Melanie arrives, telling Bobby that maybe someone’s sending him a message, like stop dating both twins at once. It turns out Melanie’s actually known the twins since elementary school because their mums have been friends since college, so she doesn’t want to see them get hurt, but pig-headed Bobby assumes she’s jealous and wants him back again. She denies it and calls him a pig when he nuzzles her neck and suggests they go talk about it in private, to which he retorts he wasn’t being serious [Sure, sure] and storms off.
Later that night, Bobby picks Samantha up a few blocks from her house for a little cruise. He tells her he’s been thinking about Bree and wants to know if she’d mentioned anything to Samantha about his guitar, but Samantha doesn’t want to talk about Bree, she just wants to ‘”ride and ride and ride!”‘ [Hubba hubba!] The strap of her tank top drops as she scratches her arm, revealing a bare shoulder with no butterfly tattoo, and Bobby realises this isn’t Samantha! [If the tattoo is the size as the cover girl’s, how well is a tank top strap gonna cover it anyway?] He pulls the car over and accuses her of being Bree, but Samantha is hurt that he can’t tell them apart by now. She has no idea about whatever tattoo he’s talking about and demands to be taken home.
The next morning Bobby sees Samantha and Bree talking heatedly outside their homeroom, but they stop as soon as they see him. He calls out a hello as he walks past but they just murmur a response, making him wonder if they’re talking about him. He continues on to his locker, where he finds a note stuck to the door that reads, ‘THIS IS YOU INSIDE.’ There’s an awful smell emanating from his locker, so he opens it up and is met with a grisly sight:
He saw the dark blood first.
The dark blood smeared on the locker walls.
Then he lowered his gaze to the locker floor and saw the monkey’s head.
Cut off just below the chin, the monkey head rested in a dark puddle of blood. Its tiny black eyes started up lifelessly at Bobby. Its mouth frozen open in a silent cry of terror and pain.
[Omg, that poor monkey 😢 Who did this?!?!?] He throws up and Arnie hurries over to see what’s going on. Arnie picks the head up because it’s just a plastic toy, and not Garth or Wayne. [Can’t tell the difference between an animal with fur and plastic, Bobby?] Bobby’s so enraged he punches the toy right out of Arnie’s hands, sending it flying down the hall.
On Saturday afternoon, Samantha calls Bobby because they really need to talk, so he goes to pick her up and once again lets her drive when she promises she’ll take it easy. She takes them deep into the woods [Not the Fear Street woods, though] and stops under a canopy of trees, where she reminds of mixing her up with Bree the other night and how she’d asked him to break up with Bree weeks ago. It’s too late now, but Samantha doesn’t want to share Bobby anymore, so she casually tells him they need to kill Bree. [That escalated quickly lol. Is Samantha really going to kill her twin sister over a fuckboy??? Surely it’s just going to be a prank to get him back for being an ass] Bobby thinks she’s joking at first, but Samantha insists they have to kill her so it’ll just be them two, which will be great! Bobby finally realises she’s being dead serious and agrees to the murder plot after she covers his face in kisses.
The strap on Samantha’s tank top moves, revealing the blue butterfly on her shoulder, and Bobby points out she didn’t have it the other night when they were driving around. He suggests that Bree had been pretending to be her, but Samantha says he’s not making sense and is all mixed up, ‘”All the more reason to kill Bree.”‘ [OK, when she mentioned before how he mixed up the twins the other night, I thought she was referring to the car ride when he accused her of being Bree. But maybe this is actually Bree, pretending to be Samantha, and she was referring to how he pretended to mix them up at the mall? So Bree has the butterfly tattoo, but is pretending to be Samantha and claiming Samantha has it, and the real Samantha doesn’t have a tattoo, and she was really in the car the other day. Does that make sense? Is that too confusing for a Fear Street? I feel like it’s either something like that, or Samantha’s been to the Honey Perkins school of gaslighting!]
Samantha drives deeper into the woods as Bobby wonders if she’s the one that’s been torturing him. He’d only told her he wanted to kill Bree to shut her up and plans to warn her as soon as they get back to Shadyside. They won’t be going back for a while though, as Samantha pulls up to a little cabin in the woods, which she claims belongs to her family. She tells him they’ll kill Bree here because no-one will find her for weeks since there’s nobody around for miles. [I’m sure the police would be smart enough to check the family cabin for a potential runaway, Samantha]
Bobby tries to call Bree later at home but she can’t talk right now, so he has to wait till he picks her up later for their date. On the date, he pulls over pretty soon after collecting her and explains how he was cruising around earlier today and saw Samantha, who climbed in when he stopped to say hi, and made him drive to the family cabin to tell him something. He explains what Samantha has planned for Bree, who has a secret of her own to tell – ‘”Samantha and I—we’re not twins.”‘ [What? You’re identical cousins instead?]
It turns out they’re triplets, [Ohhhh, duh] and Bobby must have been out with Jennilynn [That’s a fugly name] this afternoon, because Samantha was home all day with Bree. Despite the seriousness of the situation, Bobby can’t wait to tell Arnie that he’s been dating triplets, not twins.
Anyway, Jennilynn is super dangerous; she’s always been jealous of her sistersand would destroy or try to take anything they had, unable to accept the fact there were three of them and they had to share. It got so bad that one day she locked Bree and Samantha in their room a started a fire in the house, but luckily their father got home before anyone was harmed. Jennilynn was sent to a hospital for over a year, then sent to live on the West Coast with their aunt and uncle because the doctors felt it would be safer if she was separated from her sisters. They’ve moved twice since then and came to Shadyside for a fresh start, and Bobby promises not to tell anyone. [I’m confused, so is Jennilynn living with the family again, or she’s secretly back and this is the first Bree’s hearing of it? Why would the Wade family let her back into the fold when she’s homicidal?! Why isn’t Bree more concerned that Jennilynn is pretending to be Samantha? Is this all an elaborate lie?]
Bree thinks her aunt and uncle probably haven’t realised Jennilyn came back here and suggests it’s probably Jennilynn who’s been doing all those gross things to Bobby, as a way to ruin the girls’ lives. To keep him safe, Bree explains the one way to tell Jennilynn apart – she’s got a blue butterfly tattoo on her left shoulder! [I don’t know, I’m thinking Bree and Samantha are just gaslighting him as revenge. I’m all for it, though! All he really needs to do to fact check it is ask Melanie about Jennilynn, since she’s known the girls since they were kids. But maybe Melanie’s in on the conspiracy too?! Wouldn’t blame her. I’d get in on it] Neither of them are keen to head out anymore, so Bobby drops Bree back home, where she makes him confirm that he likes her. He tells her he’s nuts about her, but that directly contradicts his thoughts; she’s starting to be a pain because she’s so needy and he really doesn’t want to deal with all this drama. [So don’t date two sisters at once, idiot]
Despite his promise not to tell, Bobby heads straight over to Arnie’s place to inform him of the third sister. Melanie’s there too, and her expression remains blank when he mentions a third Wade sister. Bobby asks if it’s really true, but Melanie won’t confirm or deny Jennilynn’s existence because she made a promise, presumably to Bree and Samantha. [Yep, she’s in on the conspiracy! Or maybe Jennilynn is real. I think either revelation will be a good one] Meanwhile, Arnie’s frothing at the mouth because Bobby’s so0ooOOooooOOoOO00O00o000OO0O0 cool for dating triplets.
As he’s driving home later, Bobby’s tossing up whether to dump both twins, or keep Samantha around since she’s the more exciting one. [Realistically, if Jennilynn is real e has no idea how many times he was actually with her instead of Samantha or Bree, so it’s likely that all the excitement with Samantha was really with Jennilynn, right?] He thinks the Wades are more trouble then their worth and deems them ‘”too foxy to drop, too dangerous to keep,”‘ ultimately deciding to keep them on the go for a while longer.
Bobby meets Samantha at the mall the following afternoon where she demands to know if he broke up with Bree last night, since she came home so early and seemed upset. Bobby explains that Bree told him about Jennilynn, and Samantha’s face pales as she moans that Bree must be in bad shape again because there is no Jennilynn; ‘”We don’t have a third sister.”‘ [This book is a fkn rollercoaster hahaha. If I was Bobby I’d be demanding to see a left shoulder each time I met up with one of the girls]
Samantha explains it hasn’t happened in years, but whenever Bree was troubled, she’d make up stories about an evil third sister, Jennilynn, and that’s how the family would know she was about to go over the edge. Bobby suddenly has a thought and demands to see Samantha’s left shoulder, and although hesitant at first, she pulls the collar of her top down to reveal a bare shoulder. When he demands to know about her tattoo, reminding her of showing him in the science lab, Samantha insists she doesn’t have a tattoo and denies ever showing him one in the science lab, then demands to be taken home so she can warn her parents that Bree’s lost the plot.
Later that night, Bobby’s struggling to work out which sister’s lying to him; is Jennilynn a fantasy conjured up by Bree, or is Samantha trying to cover up the family secret? The phone rings, and a harsh, impatient voice on the other end introduces herself as Jennilynn. She insists Bobby had been with Bree at the mall earlier, not Samantha, which confuses him even more, and demands that they kill her very soon, because ‘”you’re starting to make me angry.”‘
There’s teachers’ meeting all day the next day, so no school, but when Bobby tries to call Samantha, the line is busy. It stays busy for hours, but the last time he calls it just rings and rings and rings. He tries to keep his mind occupied all day, but can’t stop thinking about the mess he’s in, and finally one of Wade sisters pulls up in their parents car. Bobby runs down to greet who he assumes is Samantha, based on her bold, sleeveless magenta midriff, and she tells him to get in so they can go to the cabin and talk.
On the way, Bobby tells her about the phone call with Jennilynn, but Samantha reminds him it has to have been Bree. She wants to wait till they’re at the cabin to talk, and Bobby spots the butterfly on her shoulder as the wind from the open windows blows the strap of her top. He sputters about her not having it yesterday at the mall, and Samantha insists she wasn’t at the mall yesterday, but reminds him how she showed him the tattoo in the science lab that one time. A confused Bobby asks if it was her who’d talked to him about killing Bree, and Samantha confirms she’s got it all worked out with a devilish grin.
They finally get to the cabin and step out of the car, but as Bobby’s walking up to the door he hears the car door open and slam shut. He turns around to see what Samantha’s doing just in time to see her whack him in the head with an empty Coke bottle, knocking him out. [OK I thought it was all some lengthy, gaslighting joke to punish Bobby for his womanising, but now it seems like he’s really in danger…]
The chapters in this book have names, [Why do some books have chapter names, and some don’t? It’s not like the names add anything, besides sometimes spoil what’s about to happen] and this next one is called ‘Honey’, so I’m almost expecting Honey Perkins to rock up at the cabin. Maybe Honey did teach the Wades how to gaslight after all! Anyway Bobby comes to inside the cabin, tied to a chair in just his T-shirt and striped boxer shorts [Sounds like a fun time to me!], with his jeans burning in the crackling fireplace. He thinks it’s Samantha standing next to the fireplace, but she corrects him; this is Jennilynn! He protests that Jennilynn doesn’t exist, but she confirms she’s the dangerous one they sent away, and her family loves to pretend she isn’t real:
“I was the one in the science lab—not Samantha or Bree! Do you really think those two pitiful wimps would ever have the nerve to get a tattoo? No way! Only Jennilynn, only the bad sister would do that.”
[OK, so she is real] She goes on to explain that she doesn’t want her sisters to be happy, and since they like Bobby so much, he’ll be saying bye-bye. She steps behind him, out of his sight, and suddenly he feels something wet and thick dripping down his hair, onto his shoulders. She comes around in front of him with a large metal can and reveals ‘”It’s honey, honey,”‘ [Good one, Jennilynn] and continues to pour it all over him. Bobby struggles to break free of his binds, but it’s no use, and then he notices something in the doorway – ‘the glass case of red ants.’ [Omg, please actually feed him to the cannibal ants!]
Jennilynn takes the lid off the case and happily tips the ants over Bobby’s honey-covered body, ignoring his pleas. The ants quickly start biting poor Bobby [Omg I really want him to die this way, it couldn’t happen to someone more deserving], as he begs for help, and Jennilyn suggests screaming might make him feel better. She leaves the front door open as she slips out, explaining Bobby needn’t worry ‘”about disturbing the neighbours. There aren’t any!”‘ [Hahaha she’s so cruel, I love it] Then she disappears, leaving Bobby squirming and screaming in pain.
Bobby’s thrashing about sends the chair he’s in toppling over, and he’s eventually able to kick his legs free from the sticky ropes as ants crawl over his scalp and into his mouth and ears. [Oof] He manages to free his hands next and brushes the ants off his body before venturing outside, hoping to seek help on the road. He’s only gone a short distance when he sees car headlights coming towards him – Jennilynn returning!
It’s actually Melanie, who’s all like “wtf happened to you?” Bobby tells her how Jennilynn’s made him all sticky, and Melanie lays some towels down so he can get in the car. Melanie wants to take him to the hospital but Bobby refuses, wanting to go straight to the police. As they drive, Melanie explains that the Wades’ car was stolen this afternoon, and Bree and Samantha were sure Jennilynn took it. Melanie was helping them look for it when she remembered Jennilynn always liked the cabin, so here she is! She also apologises for not admitting Jennilynn existed when he’d first asked, but she didn’t want to break her promise to Samantha and Bree.
The two realise they should probably warn the girls before going to the police, since they’re probably in danger, and are surprised to find the Wades’ car parked in their driveway. They quickly burst into the house and hear voices from the living room, and when Bobby barges in to warn the Wades, he’s met with ‘what looks like every girl I ever dated and dumped’ in the one room, including Ronnie and Kimmy. [It was a setup the whole time! Love it]
Mr. Wade suddenly waltzes into the room and demands to know what’s going on and why Bobby’s a sticky mess. Bobby warns that his third daughter, Jennilynn, kidnapped him and is somewhere the house, but Mr. Wade has absolutely no idea who he’s talking about because he doesn’t have a third daughter. All the girls in the room start laughing from second-hand embarrassment, but Bobby the Man still doesn’t get it and continues insisting Jennilynn took him to the family cabin and dumped cannibal ants on him.
Mr. Wade tells Bobby there’s no such thing as cannibal ants and the family doesn’t own a cabin in the woods. Bobby turns to Melanie to back him up, but she says she doesn’t know anything about a cabin. Bobby realises there really is no Jennilynn and insists whichever one of Bree and Samantha has a butterfly tattoo did this to him, but the twins deny it and show of their left shoulders, which are completely bare. [Temporary tattoos then, just like the ones that came with the book! I love it] Besides, they don’t even have drivers’ licenses yet!
Mr. Wade exits to answer the phone, and Melanie tells Bobby that this is what he gets for the way he treated not only the twins, but all of the girls; ‘”You’re not Bobby the Man. You’re Bobby the Total Pig!”‘ All the other girls cheer and applaud, and Kimmy informs Bobby the Total Pig that dating both twins was the last straw. Samantha boasts about how fun it was to drive Bobby crazy, but admits she did get a little carried away with the shoplifting. [And maybe with the electrocution too? That could have ended a lot worse. Was Kimmy the one responsible for that?]
“You—you mean you don’t like me?” Bobby cried in disbelief.
His question was greeted by gales of scornful laughter.
Bobby started to protest. But he realized there was no use. Defeated, he turned and slumped out of the room, their laughter ringing in his ears.
After school a few days later, Bobby heads for the music room before realising he doesn’t have a band anymore; Paul found another group to play with, and Arnie sold his drum set when he finally accepted he had no rhythm. The Wade twins suddenly appear and hand him an envelope, which has a message on the back: ‘Twin sisters don’t have secrets. We both knew everything from the very start.’ They scurry off, and the book ends with Bobby ripping open the envelope to find a small, temporary tattoo of a blue butterfly.
Final thoughts
I wish I’d read this one sooner, it was great! My hatred of Bobby was definitely on par with Dore and Martha at first, but he became someone I loved to hate, much like Reva Dalby. He wasn’t supposed to be likeable and didn’t have any redeeming qualities, but Double Date succeeded where Mirror, Mirror and Trick or Treat didn’t – my interest was held the whole time because the plot kept me guessing, and I loved how it culminated in his humiliation.
I absolutely loved how the girls gaslit Bobby for weeks; I guessed what was going on pretty quickly, but I could never be entirely sure whether Jennilynn was real and Bobby was in genuine danger, or if it was all an elaborate revenge plot, and that kept it interesting. I loved that all the girls he’s wronged were in on it, because we don’t really see women coming together when it comes to love interests, so it was a very pleasant surprise.
It was slightly confusing to keep track of which twin was which at times, but I really can’t think of any major flaw in the story. It’s not really horror like the usual Fear Streets I tend to prefer, but it was a really good read and I’d recommend it to everyone.
45 all-Wade weekends out 52!
