Fear Street #21: The Dare by R.L. Stine

Tagline: Some girls will do anything for a guy… even kill.

Back tagline: Nice Girls Don’t Kill….

Summary: Johanna Wise has always longed to be part of Dennis Arthur’s rich, popular crowd, and she can’t believe it when he finally asks her out. Now she’ll do anything to continue to hang out with his cool friends and keep Dennis as her boyfriend.
So when Dennis dares her to kill their teacher, Mr. Northwood, she doesn’t say no. She can’t. Besides, it was only a joke, right? But now the joke has gone too far, and the whole school is taking bets on Johanna. The dare is serious…dead serious.
Will she do it? Will she really kill for love?

First impressions: I’ve missed Fear Street so it’s time to head back there, but Johanna sounds like a complete idiot and I just know I’m gonna fkn hate her. Ironic that her last name is Wise. I think this is going to be a very frustrating experience. [Note from future: She is a complete idiot and this was very frustrating] I’m expecting someone to kill the teacher, and Johanna’s gonna be blamed and have to clear her name because everyone’s been talking about the dare, but hopefully it’s not that predictable.
Cover-wise, it reminds me of Dead End. That boy, presumably Dennis, is pretty cute so I can see why a total dipstick would murder for him, but I’m not liking the straight bangs and curly hair combo on who I assume is Johanna. Her face reminds me of someone, but I’m not sure who. Maybe Kimberly J. Brown, who played Marnie in Halloweentown and Annie in Rose Red? I don’t know, I’m sure it will come to me. Anyway, I’m curious to see what they’re looking at and what kind of relevance this scene has to the story, if it even is part of the story.
Let’s find out!

Recap

Roll call:
Johanna — Our extremely frustrating protagonist.
Dennis — Johanna’s love interest who’s dating Caitlin.
Margaret — Johanna’s best friend who deserves way better.
Mr. Northwood — A history teacher who has it out for Dennis and his friends.
Caitlin, Melody, Zack and Lanny — Dennis’s friends who aren’t relevant enough to warrant separate descriptions here.

The book opens with a prologue as our heroine, Johanna wise, is repeatedly asking us if she’s really doing this — ‘Do I really have a loaded pistol in my hand?’ [You tell me, Johanna] Will she be known as Johanna Wise, murderer, from now on? Who would ever guess that quiet, mousy, poor, divorced-parented, virtually friendless Johanna could be a murderer? Would she really kill her teacher just because of a silly dare? Maybe this is just one of her fantasies; ‘I have so many violent fantasies these days. I imagine so many frightening things.’ Is she really doing this? Apparently, yes, and once she kills him, she’ll feel so much better. [Are all her inner monologues going to involve her asking us the same question in 185 different ways that we couldn’t possibly know the answer to? I’m annoyed already]

We jump back to where it all started an unspecified amount of weeks ago at the 7-Eleven at the end of Mission Street. Johanna and her best friend, Margaret Rivers, are getting hot dogs for dinner; Johanna’s mum has had to work two jobs since the divorce and works late every night, and poor Johanna barely sees her. Johanna’s a glass half empty kind of gal and admittedly gets depressed a lot, so she’s glad to have a bestie who’s fun and positive like Margaret, who ‘isn’t very pretty, but she’s a great friend and she can always make me laugh.’  [You don’t sound like a prize pig either, Johanna] They don’t look like they have much in common, what with Johanna’s thin body and long, straight black hair, [Which is not how it looks on the cover] and Margaret’s tall, chunky frame and curly red hair, but they have fun together.

After paying for their hot dogs, the pair notice five of the wealthiest kids at Shadyside High at the back by the Slurpy machine, having a gay old time. Johanna and Margaret are only juniors, but they take some senior classes so know who the teens are. There’s Dennis Arthur, the super handsome star of the Shadyside track team, and his girlfriend, Caitlin Munroe, who doesn’t get any kind of description. There’s also stuck-up snob Melody Dawson, Zack Hamilton who’s built like a wrestler and wears bright blue sunglasses day and night, [Sounds super cool….] and Lanny Barnes, who also gets no description. Johanna and Margaret watch as the wealthy five start having a Slurpy fight, pouring purple slush all over each other. It sounds super lame to me [I would never ruin my clothes like this] but they’re all laughing, and so is Johanna and Margaret, until the 7-Eleven worker gets angry and threatens to call the cops. Dennis rejects the threat and instead aims a pistol at the worker, but only a stream of water shoots out when he squeezes the trigger. This is super hilarious to these childish seniors [I hope they all die] and they all leave after Zack stuffs some bills into the worker’s front pocket to pay for the Slurpys and the mess. The teens pass Johanna and Margaret so fast Johanna’s not even sure if they saw them, but when she glances out the window, Dennis is staring at her with a weird smile on his face. Johanna isn’t sure whether to wave at him or not, but he’s pulled away by Caitlin before she can make up her mind.

The next afternoon, Johanna’s in her last class of the day, history, which is taught by Mr. Northwood. The old coot resembles a beardless Abe Lincoln and is super weird; he always wears turtlenecks, and he tape-records everything with a recorder he carries in his pocket. He also lives next door to Johanna on Fear Street, ‘but let’s not get into that now.’ [Why not?] Anyway, class finishes and as the room clears out, Johanna makes her way to the front to ask Mr. Northwood a question, but Dennis gets there first. They begin arguing so Johanna backs up, but doesn’t leave because she really needs an answer to her question, and as she eavesdrops, she thinks about how handsome Dennis is. Dennis’s issue is that his family always goes to the Bahamas in February, which means he’ll miss a history exam, and Mr. Northwood is refusing to compromise; it wouldn’t be fair to the other students if Dennis got to take the exam when he returned, or took one along with him. Dennis is basically begging because if he gets an F he’ll lose his eligibility on the track team. All his other teachers are giving him a break because they know he’s going to be all-state this year, and he could get an Olympic tryout: ‘”I could be a national star, Mr. Northwood. I really could.”‘ Northwood reckons Dennis gets too many breaks and apologises, but the discussion is over. Exasperated, Dennis slams a heavy text book onto the ground.

They continue to argue so Johanna decides not to hang around and escapes into the hall, [Question wasn’t that important, then?] where Margaret’s waiting for her. She’s gotta head to her waitressing job at Alma’s Coffeeshop, [Last seen on the blog in The Second Evil, as far as I can tell. I don’t remember it being a prominent location throughout the series, but maybe it was in a lot of the earlier books?] but invites Johanna over for dinner later, which Johanna accepts. As Johanna’s getting things from her locker, a frustrated Dennis finally exits the classroom and tells Johanna he could kill Mr. Northwood. Johanna can barely comprehend that he’s talking to her because despite being locker neighbours, he’s never spoken to her before. Johanna agrees that Mr. Northwood isn’t very fair, and the two bond by coming up with hypothetical ways to kill him. Johanna can’t believe it when she actually makes him laugh!

Johanna eventually reveals that Northwood’s her neighbour so she needs to be nice to him. She then starts rambling, which is surprising because she’s usually shy and lacking in confidence around boys, but she it feels like she and Dennis are on the same wavelength. Dennis thinks it’s weird that they’re neighbours and wonders if Johanna believes all the stories about Fear Street, to which she jokes that Northwood’s the scariest things she’s seen there. They walk and talk side by side through the empty halls, and Johanna can’t stop thinking about how great he is. [Great? You literally saw his behaviour at the 7-Eleven and the entitlement in the classroom just now, Johanna] She wishes everyone could see her walking with one of the most popular guys in school! As they reach the parking lot outside, Johanna’s mustering up the courage to ask if he’d like to go get a Coke with her, imagining holding hands over the table and gazing dreamily at each other, but her dreams are shattered when she realises he’s heading for Caitlin’s car. He tells Johanna he’d offer her a lift but the Miata is only a two-seater, and Johanna has a violent fantasy about dragging Caitlin out of the car by her hair, jumping in herself and driving into the sunset with her new beau. [Johanna, get help]

What really happens is Johanna just watches Dennis climb into the car while Caitlin stares right through Johanna, as if she’s not even there. Then they drive away, and Dennis doesn’t even look back. Johanna’s left standing there, wondering why she has such violent fantasies while I wonder why she hasn’t seen someone about them. She’s always imagining herself punching people, or pushing them down the stairs or off of cliffs, or even ‘tearing people’s heads off and watching the blood gush up from their necks’. [I repeat: Johanna, get help]

We jump forward a week now and there’s an empty seat in history class, Dennis having gone to the Bahamas. Next to Johanna, Melody Dawson is using a pocket mirror to watch herself  brush her hair. Johanna’s sat next to her all year and Melody’s barely said a word to her, the snob! Melody’s always spotless and perfect, with blonde hair, cute little lips and creamy white skin. She wears French designer jeans and Ralph Lauren T-shirts and sweaters — even her gym socks have the polo pony on them! Can you believe that?!? Johanna can’t.

Mr. Northwood explains that he tapes the classes because it helps him remember what they’d discussed, admitting he tapes himself at home too because he finds it very instructional. Melody mutters under he breath that he should get a life, which he hears and and tells her to stay after class so they can have a little talk. Melody refuses because she’s got a tennis lesson and sure enough,  she scurries out of the classroom as soon as the bell rings. Despite not liking her, Johanna can’t help but wish she had Melody’s nerve.

Later that night, Johanna’s on the phone to Margaret, procrastinating from her homework and thinking about Dennis in the Bahamas. Margaret sighs at their own boring lives and soon they’re talking about how Mr. Northwood’s been on everyone’s case lately. Johanna disagrees, pointing out that it only seems to be the rich kids like Dennis and his friends that Northwood’s bothering. Suddenly, a car door slams and there’s a crash downstairs, and Johanna ends the conversation and hangs up because she thinks someone’s breaking in. [I’d probably stay on the phone but you do you, Johanna] 

The crash sounded like it came from the front of the house so Johanna moves over to the window and peers out over the front yard, but nothing looks out of the ordinary until she spots Zack, Melody, Caitlin and Lanny huddled behind Mr. Northwood’s car next door. [OK but what was the crash?] She decides to go down there and see what the knuckleheads are up to. The four are surprised to learn she lives next door to Northwood, and they make her promise not to tell anyone they were here. Johanna assures them she’s no snitch, but Melody’s not so sure she can be trusted, which stings a little because she wants to be accepted by the group. [What was that damn crash that made Johanna think she was about to be robbed?!] It’s too cold out here for Caitlin, who heads back to Melody’s Mercedes, and Zack dares Lanny to do what they came to do, which is pour a bag of sand into Northwood’s car’s gas tank. Then Zack whips out his Swiss Army knife, which he never goes anywhere without, and begins scratching Dennis’ name into the back fender. As he’s starting the ‘I’, though, Northwood’s porch light flashes on and Zack, Lanny and Melody flee back to the Mercedes and speed off. Johanna just stands there like an idiot and when she does eventually find her legs, she’s spotted by Mr. Northwood when he comes out onto his porch.

Johanna freezes like a deer caught in headlights and Mr. Northwood marches on over to see what’s going on. She’s not a very good liar apparently, so she omits most of what’s happened and simply explains she heard noises and came to investigate who it was. Mr. Northwood saw who it was and questions when she started hanging out with that group. Johanna insists that she doesn’t and just came out to investigate the noises she heard, then tried to get them to leave. Without another word, Mr. Northwood stalks over to his car to investigates, then announces he’ll be calling the police. Without another word, Johanna runs into her house and slams the door shut behind her, as if that’s gonna make the issue go away. She paces back and forth and stresses out, waiting for the police to come take her away even though she didn’t do anything, but nobody ever comes and she goes to bed thinking that maybe Mr. Northwood decided not to call the police after all.

The next afternoon, Lanny, Zack, Melody and Caitlin aren’t in history, and Mr Northwood keeps Johanna after class to talk. He tells her the feral foursome were suspended this morning after he’d gone to the principal, since the police didn’t take it seriously and had dismissed it as a prank. [Can the police do that? Like, isn’t it destruction of property or whatever? Vandalism? And wouldn’t the sand in the gas tank cause some major damage too?] He believes what Johanna said last night, that she isn’t part of the friend group, because she’s a nice girl and a good student, but still, he’ll be keeping an eye on her. As Johanna heads to her locker, she gets madder and madder about what he said; who does he think he is?!?! [A smart man who’s looking out for your dumb ass]

That night while studying, Johanna gets a phone call from Dennis, who’d returned from the Bahamas this morning. He wants to know if she’s ready to kill Mr Northwood, and she laughs because obviously he’s joking, right? Wishful thinking, he tells her, and then there’s an awkward silence before he explains she ‘”had such good ideas when I talked to you that time”‘. She tries to be mysterious, replying that she has lots of good ideas, then asks how the Bahamas were. He blabs on about how good it was and what he did while away, and then finally gets to the reason he’s calling — he’s been thinking about her while he was away and wants to know if she’d like to come to a small party at Melody’s on Friday night. Johanna almost creams her jeans right then and there, but her one brain cell reminds her he has a girlfriend. Without hesitating, Dennis informs her that he and Caitlin both see other people sometimes, and she’ll will be visiting her cousin in Waynesbridge that night anyway, so it won’t be a problem.

He also reveals that the parents of the suspended four went to see the principal this afternoon, and it was decided Zack, Melody, Caitlin and Lanny will return to school tomorrow — the principal even apologised for suspending them in the first place! Johanna doesn’t know what to say other than wow, and bitterly realises how different things are for rich people. [Welcome to the world, Johanna] It definitely wouldn’t have been the same deal if her mother had confronted the principal like that! Johanna’s smiling when she hangs up and wonders if this could be the start of something great. Maybe her life will change, and she’ll have a bunch of new friends — she’d do anything be be part of Dennis’s group. Anything!

The next morning, locker neighbours Johanna and Dennis greet each other and he gives her a conch shell he’d brought back from the Bahamas for her. She can’t believe he’d gotten her a present and thanks him, but then Caitlin appears by his side and gets super angry when she notices the shell. Apparently Dennis, who’s nervous and blushing now, had brought the shell back for Caitlin, and she demands to know what’s going on. Johanna refuses to hand the shell over, but eventually changes her mind when Caitlin keeps insisting:

“Okay,” I said. “Here.”
And I smashed the shell as hard as I could into Caitlin’s face.
I heard her teeth crack.
Bright red blood spurted from her mouth.
The sharp shell cut a flap in her cheek, and blood rolled down the side of her face.
The shell dropped to the floor and shattered.
Caitlin staggered back against the lockers and raised her hand to her bleeding cheek.
She tried to say something. But she choked on the spurting blood.
I raised my eyes to Dennis. He had a pleased smile across his handsome face.

Of course, this is just one of Johanna’s trademark violent fantasies [Seriously, Johanna. Seek. Help. Urgently] and Caitlin didn’t notice her or the shell; she appeared beside Dennis, wrapped her hand in his and they walked off together.

In the cafeteria later that day, Johanna and Margaret spot Dennis making out with Caitlin outside in the hall, and Margaret asks if Johanna’s sure it was the Dennis Arthur who’d asked her out for Friday night. Johanna’s upset, but I don’t really see why because it’s not like Dennis and Caitlin broke up or anything, and both girls wonder why he’d asked her out in the first place. [Well, he didn’t really ask you out on a date, he just invited you to a party. But in Johanna’s defence, Dennis does seem into her, but he clearly has ulterior motives]

After history that afternoon, nosy Johanna hangs back while Dennis and Mr. Northwood get into it again. Dennis is begging for a make-up test, or to be able to do something for extra credit, because if he gets a failing grade he won’t be eligible for the all-state team and can kiss the Olympic tryouts goodbye. He insists Northwood has to give him a make-up test, but Mr. Northwood argues that ‘”I don’t have to do anything except pay taxes and die,”‘ and declares he’s just teaching Dennis a lesson about fairness. [True, Dennis chose to go to the Bahamas knowing this would happen, so it’s his own fault. But surely Dennis can go above Mr. Northwood’s head about the make-up test, right? Like, Northwood can’t be the final say on the matter] Defeated, Dennis finally walks away, and although dipstick Johanna plans to give him a word of encouragement, he walks straight past her and out the door where Caitlin’s waiting, and they both head off. Johanna stares after them, wondering again if Dennis is interested in her or not, and if not, why’d he invite her out for Friday night?

It’s Friday night now, and Johanna’s all dressed up with some conch earrings she found at the mall, impatiently waiting for 8pm, when Dennis is supposed to pick her up. She starts to worry when he hasn’t arrived by then and wonders if it was just a prank, or a maybe even one of those pesky dares his friendship group is always daring each other to do, but Dennis eventually arrives a few minutes after 8:00 and whisks her away, so all she had to do was be patient!

Melody’s house is big and modern, and there’s only a handful of teens there, mostly seniors that Johanna doesn’t know, including Reva Dalby. Johanna tries to have fun but she doesn’t have much in common with rich, North Hills residents. Everyone’s been friendly, but Johanna just doesn’t fit in and can certainly feel a divide. She knows it doesn’t matter that she’s not rich, but she just can’t relax and feel comfortable.

Some people have left by 11pm, and the remaining group are sprawled on the floor or sitting on the couch, sharing tortilla chips and salsa. Dennis hasn’t really talked to Johanna much tonight, so she finds herself wondering yet again if he’s actually into her. That is until he randomly puts his arm around her shoulders and announces to the group that ‘”Johanna and I are going to murder Mr. Northwood!”‘ Johanna reluctantly confirms it, sure he’s just joking around, and some of the other teens pipe up that they wanna help. Lanny dares them to actually do it, and Johanna tells everyone she’d use a gun to do the deed. Zack does a good impression of Mr. Northwood, and then the group discuss how much they hate him and how he’s wronged people in the past, like making one girl stay after school on her birthday and taking five points off Carter Philips’ [From The Cheater, but her last name is spelled with one L here, but two Ls in her main book] final exam because she forgot to put her name on top, which brought her grade down. Dennis assures everyone that he and Johanna have been making plans, but won’t say when they’ll go through with it because ‘”it’s a secret”‘. Johanna laughs along with everyone else, hoping that all this murder talk is still just a joke.

Later, while dropping Johanna home, Dennis pulls her in for a kiss. It’s awkward at first because she wasn’t expecting it, but she gives into it and can tell he really does like her after all. As they’re going at it, Johanna senses they’re being watched and spots Mr. Northwood in his front yard staring into the car. [Is this the cover?!] Johanna devilishly suggests they let him watch, but Dennis is spooked and decides to go home, politely declining her offer to come inside. [Horny girl!] Johanna’s furious that Mr. Northwood’s ruined her date and heads straight for the living room drawer to get the pistol, which her dad had left when he moved out, so they’d have some form of protection if needed. Then she crosses to the window and opens it to stare out at Mr. Northwood, who’s still puffing on a pipe in his front yard. She steadies herself and aims the gun at his chest, but all of a sudden the living room lights flash on and mum bursts into the room, questioning the gun. But she’s too late; Johanna pulls the trigger! The gun isn’t actually loaded, though, with the bullets still in the drawer, and Johanna lies that she thought she heard a burglar, but it was probably just the wind. [Yes, very similar sounds]

On Monday morning at school, Melody corners Johanna and gives her a friendly warning that Caitlin’s found out about her and Dennis and she’s not impressed. Melody isn’t sure what Dennis told Johanna, but Caitlin can be very jealous and doesn’t want Dennis dating other people. The warning presents some more unanswered questions for Johanna, like did Caitlin tell Melody to come warn her? Did Dennis lie when he said he and Caitlin date other people? And was Melody actually being nice to her, or was she just trying to start some trouble? [Likely all of the above. Melody’s probably like me and brings her big wooden spoon everywhere she goes so she can stir the pot!]

After bumping into Dennis in the hallway, he asks if Johanna wants to study together tonight; he’ll come over after practice. Johanna eagerly accepts and while she does feel a little bad about the Caitlin situation, it’s not enough to reconsider. Home alone later, she starts having second thoughts about Dennis coming over, but only because her house is so shabby and rundown compared to the North Hills homes Dennis is used to. When the phone rings, she thinks it’s Dennis calling to cancel on her, but it’s just Margaret wanting to know what time she should come over to work on their project that’s due on Friday. Silly Johanna had forgotten all about her plans with Margaret and badly lies that she plans on going straight to bed because she’s not feeling well, and they reschedule for tomorrow night. A little white lie won’t hurt, especially because Margaret would be upset if she found out that she was being stood up for Dennis.

Dennis arrives a short time later, and he’s brought Lanny, Zack, Melody and Caitlin with him. [Yeah, he’s definitely using Johanna] Johanna doesn’t mind too much because it probably means they all want to be her friend, [Girl…] and she fetches everyone a Coke. Upon returning, the group is discussing their favourite topic, Mr. Northwood. He’d caught Zack peering over Deena Martinson‘s shoulder while taking a test and didn’t believe him when he’d insisted he was asking for the time. [What, no clock in the classroom?] Lanny points out that Mr. Northwood clearly hates them all because they’re rich and he’s a pauper, and the other moneybags agree.

Zack whips out a test tube of skunk juice that his brother took from a university science lab, wanting to dump it onto Mr. Northwood’s porch, but he refuses to do it himself and dares Dennis, who also declines because he’s in enough trouble with Northwood as it is. There’s a brief discussion about who’s going to do it before Johanna offers. She has no idea why she said it at the time, but upon later reflection realises she wanted the group to like her and really wanted to impress Dennis. The group head outside and hide behind some pitiful shrubs on Northwood’s property. The lights are out, so they’re not sure if he’s awake and, spurred on by the others, Johanna scampers up to the porch. But just as she’s about to up-end the test tube, the light comes on above her!

Johanna drops the tube, which shatters on the stoop, and bolts back to the safety of the shrubs as she hears the front door open. Mr. Northwood audibly reacts to the terrible smell before quickly disappearing back inside, and Johanna’s new friends all congratulate and praise her. They pile into Melody’s parents’ Mercedes and head to The Corner for a bite to eat, and Johanna really feels like part of the group; Zack even pays for her meal! It’s almost 10:30pm when they drop her back home and as she’s walking up the driveway, ecstatic about her new friends, Margaret steps out of the shadows. Johanna had said she had the flu and, being such a good friend, Margaret wanted to bring over some chicken soup. [How long was she just standing in the shadows holding a pot of soup for? Lol Because surely she didn’t pop over at 10:30pm to bring her soup] Margaret is understandably upset Johanna lied to her; if she didn’t want to get together tonight, she should have just said so. Johanna apologises and Margaret bitterly warns that she and Johanna aren’t like Dennis and his friends, who do whatever they want and don’t care who they hurt. Johanna thinks she’s just being dramatic, but Margaret is positive Johanna will be sorry, [100%] then tells her to enjoy the soup and heads off.

Johanna hangs out with Dennis’s crowd a lot over the next few weeks, and she spends a lot of time daydreaming about Dennis while thinking of ways to break him and Caitlin up. Mr. Northwood has been even harder on the group, too; Dennis and Zack got failing grades for the term, which means Dennis is no longer eligible for the track team! His parents tried arguing with the principal again, but he backed his staff this time. Caitlin and Melody were also forced to stay an hour after school for a whole week, just for laughing during a class discussion. Because of all the drama, the group continue to joke about killing Mr. Northwood, until one Thursday evening, it stopped being a joke…

They’re all studying in Johanna’s living room, drinking some beers Zack swiped from his place, when Dennis says something about needing a pencil. He opens a drawer to search for one, but instead finds the gun and excitedly declares that they really can kill Mr. Northwood. He clicks the bullet cartridge into the handle and while the girls beg him to put it back, the boys start tossing it to each other, mucking around recklessly. [????] Dennis reckons they should shoot Mr. Northwood and hide the gun — ‘”no-one is going to suspect a group of nice, respectable teenagers like us.”‘ [Yeah, no-one will ever suspect the five students Mr. Northwood’s been picking on of killing him. That wouldn’t cross anyone’s mind at all…] The gun ends up in Dennis’s hands again, and while pretending to be a cowboy, doing a quick draw, he accidentally shoots Zack in the shoulder.

Melody vomits her guts up, Caitlin cries hysterically, Lanny and Johanna are stunned and Zack moans on the floor. Dennis is the only one able to think clearly, and he’s come up with an idea. He orders Johanna to call 911 and enlists Lanny to help him help Zack walk. Johanna calls the emergency services and says there’s been a shooting, then heads back to the others. Dennis tells the girls to clean up in here and not to worry because he’s got a plan, and then he and Lanny lead the injured Zack outside. Johanna and Caitlin clean the blood while Melody just cries on the armchair, then they leave her there to see what the boys are doing. Zack’s lying on his back in Mr. Northwood’s yard as Lanny stands over him, and Dennis tells the girls to go along with his story. The police and ambulance quickly arrive, sirens on, and Mr. Northwood steps outside to see what’s going happening. His foot brushes something and he bends down to pick it up — the pistol! The two police officers ask what’s going on, and Dennis immediately declares that Mr. Northwood shot Zack. .

We jump forward two weeks now and we learn that Zack is fine, his shoulder expected to fully heal within a few months. Dennis’s plan to frame Mr. Northwood didn’t succeed, though; the gun was registered to Johanna’s father, obviously, and the police found Zack’s blood on Johanna’s carpet. The truth quickly came out, but the rich kids’ parents were able to keep everything out of the news. Mr. Northwood didn’t press charges, so Johanna suspects he was paid off. The parents demanded the group be removed from his history class, but the school didn’t cooperate, and Mr. Northwood is harder than ever on them, including Johanna now. Mum thinks the rich kids are a bad influence on Johanna and bans her from seeing them, which is why Johanna has been sneaking out to see Dennis, like tonight!

They’re up at River Ridge making out in the car, which is their new favourite pastime — when Dennis isn’t talking about Mr. Northwood ruining his life, of course! [Boring] Dennis reveals that in study hall earlier, Dennis, Lanny and Zack were all daring each other to kill Mr. Northwood. Dennis really thinks someone needs to do something about the teacher, and he seems so upset that for whatever reason, ‘I think I loved him more than ever at that moment.’ [Love? Love, Johanna? You’re the side piece, don’t be an idiot!] Dennis teases that maybe he should dare Johanna to kill Mr. Northwood, because ‘”You’ve always wanted to be included in our stupid dares, haven’t you?”‘ Johanna tells him to dare her, which he does. Then, her heart pounding, Johanna accepts the dare. [We’re 107 pages into a 149-page book, and they’re only getting to what the blurb described now 🙃 ]

It’s the following Monday now, and Johanna’s just been wished good luck by some random girl at school she doesn’t know. Johanna’s confused at first, but then it slowly dawns on her that the girl is wishing her good luck with the dare to kill Mr. Northwood; ‘Hey, I’m getting famous! I thought. I wasn’t sure if I was happy about it or not.’ [Why would you be happy about everyone knowing you’re apparently planning to murder a teacher? Like, does she think the whole school would keep it a secret??? Is she actually that dumb?] Johanna’s then confronted by Margaret, who she hasn’t seen much of lately because Margaret doesn’t approve of Dennis and her new friends — ‘she and I just didn’t have much in common anymore.’ [Yeah, Margaret’s got a brain] Margaret drags her into the bathroom, where Suki Thomas [Suki!] is touching up her hair and lipstick. As soon as Suki leaves, Margaret demands to know what’s going on because the whole school is talking about her. Johanna secretly thinks it’s exciting, like she’s some big celebrity, and denies that there’s any truth to the rumours about a dare to kill Mr. Northwood. Margaret doesn’t believe her because Zack and Lanny are taking bets on whether she’ll do it or not, which is shocking news to our idiot protagonist.

In maths class, Johanna thinks about how crazy the whole thing is and decides she won’t go through with it. ‘It had seemed like such a romantic thing to say that night up on River Ridge’ [Romantic? Romantic?!?!!?!?!? I am losing my mind. Johanna is making me want to bang my head against concrete] when she’d wanted Dennis to like her and to make him happy. But she’s had a lot of time to think about it and hasn’t thought about anything else, [She’s making out like she’s been second guessing this for days, but she seemingly didn’t have any reservations until she learned people are making bets] and she knows she can’t do it.

At the end of the school day, Lanny finds her and reveals they’ve got $1,000 so far, and Johanna will get half of it if she completes the dare. [Is there really no student at all in this whole school who wants to tell the police there’s a murder plot going on?] He rushes off before she can say anything, and she starts thinking about the $500 she stands to earn. She stares down at the big moth hole on the sleeve of her sweater and considers how many new sweaters the money would get her. [You won’t have any need for new sweaters in prison, Johanna] But she wouldn’t be doing the dare for the money, you know. She’d be killing Northwood to help Dennis! Dennis had dared her, and ‘you can’t wimp out on a dare.’ [But the boys had all been daring each other to kill Northwood first, so why is it up to her?] But she couldn’t really kill Mr. Northwood, even if she wanted to, could she?

Dennis calls later that night to tell her that the bets are for Saturday, and he’s counting on her, and then we jump forward to an unspecified afternoon, maybe Saturday. Johanna’s at home watching through the kitchen window as Mr. Northwood takes some firewood from a stack of logs into his house. The high pile of wood gives her an idea — maybe she can kill him, but make it look like an accident! She’s watched him take wood into the house before and knows he makes three or four trips carrying two logs each time, so when he disappears into the house she dashes over and hides behind the tower of logs. [This is going to be a fantasy, isn’t it?] When she hears him return for more wood, she pushes the pile on top of him, burying him beneath the wood. She was expecting this to at least knock him out, [Aren’t you supposed to be killing him?] but when she comes out of hiding she sees that he’s trying to climb out. He spots her as he’s shoving the logs off his chest, so she picks up a heavy log and swings it down onto his head, his skull making a disgusting cracking sound that makes her wonder if she’ll ever be able to crack open an egg without thinking of him. Blood pours down his face and she checks to see if he’s still breathing. Satisfied that he’s dead, she places the bloody log onto his face and places a few more over his body, pleased that she’s able to make it look like an accident. [I guess the police might assume it’s an accident, but surely his injuries wouldn’t be consistent with a falling log? Like, forensics would be able to tell that there was significant force behind it to do that kind of damage, right? Why is she so dumb?!]

Of course, this is just another violent fantasy, as if any of us are surprised, but Johanna is watching Northwood stack piles of wood in his yard. It’s Thursday, and she’d stayed home from school because she’s a nervous wreck, but managed to be somewhat productive; she plans on shooting Mr Northwood on Saturday and located a loose stone in the basement where she can stash the gun afterwards so no-one will find it. [Wait, wait, wait. The police already know you and your friends tried to frame him for shooting Zack, so they know you have a gun. You’d be one of their primary suspects for his murder, and no doubt the police will ask for the gun to see if it matches the bullet that killed the teacher (if they don’t already have the bullet that injured Zack to match it up with), so then what are you going to do, Johanna? Pretend someone broke in, stole the gun and used it to kill Mr. Northwood?] Dennis had also called when he got home from school to see if she’s OK and to tell her they’ve raised almost $1,2,00. When she’d said she didn’t care about the money, he seemed worried and needed reassurance she was still going to go through with the dare, which she reluctantly gave. He then said his goodbyes and quickly hung up, which kind of upsets her because she wanted to keep talking, wanted him to tell her he was breaking up with Caitlin so he can date Johanna instead, and tell her how much fun they’re going to have when Mr. Northwood is dead. [Omfg Johanna, how do you not see that he’s just using you and is 100% going to double-cross you? How can someone be this stupid]

Now very stressed, Johanna decides she can’t wait until Saturday to complete the dare and heads to the living room to get the gun, which Mum locked in the bottom drawer. Johanna’s lack of intelligence must be hereditary because Mum’s way of hiding the key is to tape it to the underside of the desk. Donning a large coat and stuffing the gun inside a pocket, she sneaks over to Mr. Northwood’s backyard and is just about to shoot him when she hears a female voice call her name. She manages to jam the gun back into her pocket before Mr. Northwood spins around, surprised to see her. She explains she had a question about homework, then turns around herself to see who had called her name. It’s Margaret, who’s kindly come over to share her notes from today’s class because there’s going to be a quiz tomorrow and she doesn’t want her to be unprepared. [I love Margaret] Mr. Northwood agrees with me that Margaret’s a considerate friend, and offers Johanna the tape recording of his class, but she politely declines because Margaret’s notes should be enough. Margaret walks Johanna back to her house and again brings up how everyone’s betting on the dare, wanting to know if Johanna is planning to go through with it. Johanna contemplates telling Margaret everything, like how Northwood is ruining the lives of Dennis and his friends, including Johanna’s, [How exactly is he ruining yours, Johanna?] but Margaret isn’t one of them so she’d never understand. [Girl, you weren’t one of them a few weeks ago! You’re probably still not, just the scapegoat who’s stupid enough to do their bidding!] Swallowing the urge to explain, Johanna just tells her that of course she’s not going to complete the dare.

It’s Saturday now, and Johanna’s home alone procrastinating from the task at hand. She dawdles around the house, ultimately ending up in the kitchen where she spots Mr. Northwood in his backyard, carrying a can of paint in one hand and a paintbrush in the other. She watches as he makes his way to the shed behind the garage and thinks about how he’s going to paint his shed and she’s going to shoot him. Before she even knows what she’s doing, she’s retrieved the gun from the living room and is heading to the closet for her coat, but then the doorbell rings. She stashes the gun in the drawer again and answers the door to find Dennis, who wants to know if she’s done the dare yet. She’s clearly reluctant, so he kisses her on the lips for moral support, which calms her a little bit. Still, her stomach is doing backflips so she heads upstairs to the bathroom for some medicine and tries to psych herself up a bit in the mirror. Her inner monologue bangs on and on about how it’s Saturday and she has to shoot Mr. Northwood because it’s Saturday Saturday Saturday and you can’t wimp out on a dare so she has to shoot Mr. Northwood because it’s Saturday and she has to shoot Mr. Northwood. [That’s basically what her brain is like right now]

Eventually she hears a car backfire [Which seems like a random thing to notice right now so I am absolutely certain that it’s not a car backfiring, but Dennis using her gun to shoot Mr. Northwood] and after splashing some water on her face, she finally heads downstairs. Dennis’s forehead is covered in sweat and he looks just as pale and nervous as she does, which gives her renewed strength because he obviously cares so much about her. [JOHANNA, PLEASE, YOU’RE KILLING ME] Finally she takes the gun out of the drawer, which feels warm in her cold, clammy hands, [Or warm because it was just in Dennis’s!] and makes her way to Mr. Northwood’s yard, where he’s not painting the shed but is over at the woodpile, hunched over and seemingly stacking logs.

Aiming the gun at him with her shaky hands, she orders herself to shoot because it’s Saturday, but she knows that she can’t pull the trigger — she’s not a murderer, she’s just Johanna! Somehow she’s finally come to her senses, and even though it’s Saturday she’s not going to kill Mr. Northwood. She moves the gun behind her back, immediately feeling better, and now her mind is a bit clearer mind, she realises that Mr. Northwood isn’t moving:

I stepped closer. Closer.
I gasped when I saw the dark stain on the back of his coat. The dark purple stain.
The dark purple bloodstain.
“Mr. Northwood?”
Why didn’t he answer me? Why didn’t he move?
I stared at the round purple stain on the coat. As it came into focus, I saw that the stain surrounded a deep hole, a hole through the coat. A hole in Mr. Northwood’s back.
Then I lowered my eyes to the dark puddle of blood on the ground in front of the woodpile.
“Mr. Northwood? Mr. Northwood?”
But of course he didn’t answer me.
As I stared in open-mouthed horror, I realized that he had already been shot to death.

[I wonder if Dennis called the police as soon as she stepped outside so they’d show up to find her standing over Northwood with a gun? That’s what I’d do if I were him] As she stands there like a stunned mullet, she hears footsteps approaching from behind. It’s Dennis, who’s ecstatic that she actually did it and starts to celebrate. [Maybe don’t celebrate at the crime scene, my dude] Johanna tries to explain that she didn’t shoot Dennis, but he insists that she did because the gun’s been fired. Grinning, he points out the barrel, which has some gunpowder on it. She sniffs it to confirm that it’s gunpowder, and Dennis casually tells her he called the police, but she shouldn’t worry; ‘”I’ll tell them that Northwood attacked you and you fired in self-defense.”‘ [He’s 100% not going to do that hahahaha] It all finally makes sense to her as she realises he’d used the gun and killed Mr. Northwood while she was in the bathroom. It was all a set-up, and she demands to know why. Before he can respond, Caitlin comes up the driveway, asking what’s going on:

“Oh, Caitlin!” I cried, so happy to see her. “Caitlin—help me! Please?” I went running to her.
But she sidestepped me and hurried over to Dennis.
“It went perfectly,” Dennis told her, grinning. He pointed down to Mr. Northwood’s body.
She kissed him on the cheek. “We did it!” Caitlin cried.

Johanna’s a little confused because she’s an idiot and can’t connect the dots, so Dennis has to explain that Caitlin had dared him to dare Johanna to take care of their Northwood problem. He boasts that it was so easy to get her to volunteer because she seemed so eager to help, and he couldn’t believe his luck when it turned out that she owned a gun. He admits he was only going out with her so he could get her to kill Northwood, and Caitlin wonders if she’d even stopped to think about why he’d seemed so interested all of a sudden. Dennis continues on to say that Northwood was ruining his life, and he needed to get back on the track team. [I’m not sure how killing Mr. Northwood gets Dennis back on the team, but okeh] He’d suspected Johanna would wimp out so he took the chance to kill Northwood himself, only everyone will think she did it. Johanna is livid and can’t believe she’d trusted and cared about him, [I can’t believe she thought they’d cared about her] and now her life is ruined just so he could get back on the team and live happily ever after with Caitlin. She can hear sirens approaching and starts to feel out of control before aiming the gun at Dennis and pulling the trigger. [This better not be a fkn fantasy too]

But of course it’s a fantasy, because Johanna’s not a killer, and instead she’s just breathing heavily and kind of blacking out as the sirens approach. Eventually a stern voice orders her to drop the gun, but it’s snatched from her hands before she can even obey, and her arms are then pinned behind her back. There’s four officers in total; two standing over Mr. Northwood’s corpse, one holding on tightly to Johanna, and another one approaching Caitlin and Dennis, who are putting on the performance of their lives. Caitlin’s actually crying, saying how horrible it was while Dennis backs her up — they’d tried to stop Johanna but didn’t make it in time, and she’d shot Mr. Northwood.

As Johanna’s having her rights read to her, one of the officers by Mr. Northwood’s body cries out that he’s still alive, and an ambulance is called. Johanna doesn’t bother protesting the first-degree murder charge because she knows no-one will believe that she’s innocent, not after the whole school had been talking about the dare. As she’s being lead to a police car, one of the officers calls them back because he’d pulled a tape recorder from the Mr. Northwood’s pocket, and it’s still recording — they probably have the whole incident on tape! The blood drains from Caitlin and Dennis’s faces as the policeman rewinds the tape a little bit and presses play, and everyone hears Dennis incriminate himself and Caitlin when he’d confessed everything to Johanna a few minutes earlier. Dennis and Caitlin are immediately arrested while Johanna is released, and the cop that had been holding her is in disbelief because he’s never seen anything like this before. As Johanna watches Caitlin and Dennis be lead to the police cars, the cop asks Johanna about the dare Dennis had mentioned on the tape. Johanna simply tells him the dare was just a fantasy that got too real, and the book ends as she turns away from the flashing lights and hurries back to her own house.

Final thoughts

This one was pretty middle-of-the-road as a whole, but Johanna was so stupid and frustrating that it brings the books down. Seriously, how can someone be that dumb and easily manipulated? Couldn’t ever be me, that’s for damn sure. Johanna’s violent fantasies were a weird choice too because it took away any suspense the book was aiming for. I guess maybe Stine was trying to have more of a reason for why she was willing to murder someone in the first place, but in that case it should have been played up more by having her seem actually keen to do the dare herself, rather than want to do it purely for Dennis. The boys all also dared each other to kill Northwood too, so I still don’t understand why she had to be the one to do it. If she had more than one brain cell, she probably would have realised something fishy was going on. Margaret was definitely the highlight of the book, but unfortunately she wasn’t in it that much.

I will say that Dennis’s plan was kind of smart, and he and Caitlin proved to be quite cold and calculating by getting everyone at school to bet on the dare; there was almost no way Johanna wouldn’t have been blamed when Mr. Northwood ended up dead. I just can’t comprehend how she possibly thought she would kill her teacher and live happily ever after with Dennis when everyone knew about the murder plot. Also, the police probably would have found out about the betting at some point, so wouldn’t everyone else who knew about it get into some kind of trouble too? I don’t know, I don’t want to think about this book anymore hahaha.

I’d only recommend this to someone who doesn’t mind being totally frustrated by the protagonist, so 21 dares you can’t wimp out of out of 114!