Tagline: The customer is always…wrong. Dead wrong.
Back tagline: The food is great. The service is deadly.
Summary: Dying for a good meal? Come on over to the Dog House, where Paula works after school. It’s a great place to meet your friends – if they’re still alive.
At the Dog House accidents can happen, and they often do. You could wind up with more than an upset stomach. You might just wind up dead. Of course, when things go wrong everybody always blames the waitress. Now Paula’s first job might be her last.
First impressions: A simple yet effective cover, I really like it. Who’d have thought “have a nice day!” could look so ominous?! Even though the knife is the only horror-type thing on the table, the colour scheme gives off an uneasy vibe and it all just works. Also, that W is great hahaha! The summary makes me excited, but I’m willing to bet it’s exaggerating the deaths. Let’s read!
Recap
Roll call:
Paula – Our protagonist who’s new to town and starting a new waitressing job.
Garth – Paula’s crush that Coralynn seems to be dating.
Coralynn – The school bitch that is pretty sure she’s Garth’s girlfriend.
Trixie – The owner of the Dog House where Paula works.
Cookie – Paula’s bad girl friend and fellow waitress [And we love her!!].
Virgilia – Paula’s nerdy friend and another fellow waitress.
The book begins with our protagonist, Paula, being way too dramatic about her English teacher:
She watched as the thin, birdlike figure of a man paced frantically back and forth in front of her, making wild, frenzied gestures.
He’s insane, she thought hopelessly.
[…]
I’m trapped… for now, she realised.
[…]
She gazed around the room at the faces with their glazed, vacant expressions. He did this to us, she thought. We’re all his victims. Never mind… It will all be over soon.
[Calm down, Paula, it’s not a hostage situation].
As Mr Wood bangs on about an assignment, Paula continues to not pay attention so she can give us some exposition. She’s recently moved to the school and isn’t having much fun there. A classmate, Coralynn, absolutely hates her, most likely because Coralynn’s jealous that her boyfriend, Garth, had helped Paula with her dodgy locker and was super friendly towards her. Of course, Paula wouldn’t mind dating Garth herself [Cheeky girl!], but Coralynn always gets her way apparently.
Lately, it’s seemed like Coralynn’s been spying on Paula, appearing out of nowhere with a smirk on her face, usually when Paula’s alone. Paula fantasises about getting rid of Coralynn before her thoughts turn to Trixie’s Dog House, “FOR DOGGONE GOOD CHOW”, as it states on the sign. Paula has her first shift as a waitress there after school, and isn’t looking forward to it because she completely fabricated her waitressing skills [Hands up if you haven’t lied on a resume?].
After school, Paula arrives at the Dog House early get acquainted with the place, and it’s like a time warp back to the 1950s inside. There’s a black and white linoleum floor, yellow vinyl-covered stools and even a jukebox. Paula is greeted by the owner, Trixie, an eccentric older woman with a red beehive hairdo. Trixie’s also wearing the waitressing uniform – bobby socks, saddle shoes a pink flared skirt and a frilly white blouse – not only because she has to help out on the floor sometimes, but because it makes her feel young again. She dropped out of high school and beauty school and started waitressing, and now she owns the place [This diner actually sounds pretty cool! The uniforms sound gross but I’m into the ‘50s vibe].
Trixie explains the basics of the diner to Paula, who doesn’t stop complaining internally about every single thing [You’re a waitress now, sweaty, you better start smiling!]. She’s also unnerved by her new boss because “one minute she looks as if she’s my best friend, and the next she looks as if she’s going to slap me.” [I wish she would lol]. After getting changed downstairs, Paula asks what the two big boxes are at the other end of the cellar and Trixie is surprised that she doesn’t know what a walk-in fridge is [Come on, Paula, use that brain of yours]. Trixie takes Paula inside the fridge and warns her not to get locked in, because there’s no vent to the outside and the fan just blows cold air around [Is this foreshadowing? Most likely]. Next, Trixie shows her the other box, the walk-in freezer, and then quickly locks Paula in.
Paula loves playing this joke on the newbies because they get soooOO000oo00ooOOooo scared [Good one, Trixie!]. She instructs Paula to pull the safety handle on the left side of the door to get out. Paula’s unimpressed as she follows Trixie back upstairs, but decides she might like this place after all when sees her reflection and notices how good she looks in the uniform [I’m not sure anyone would look good in the uniform but I’ll take Paula’s word for it]. By this point Trixie’s realised that Paula lied about her waitressing history, but doesn’t mind much because “everybody’s gotta start somewhere.” [If only every employer felt the same way, huh?].
Also waitressing tonight is Virgilia, a short, freckle-faced girl, and Cookie [What the fuck is up with the names in this book?], who Paula recognises from school. Cookie’s a wild girl – she rides a motorcycle and flirts with all the guys [I guess we’ve found the slutty one! I like her already], and Paula is jealous of her carefree attitude. Both girls are super friendly and reassure Paula that the job isn’t as scary as it seems at first.
Trixie informs Paula that her niece comes in a lot with her friends and likes to sit in a certain booth that will be within Paula’s section, and Paula is horrified to learn that her niece is that bitch Coralynn, who’s just arrived with some friends, including super-hunk Garth. Paula avoids taking their order for as long as possible to avoid Coralynn, who’s as snarky as ever when Paula decides to do her job. Paula delivers their food and hopes it’s the last she’ll have to deal with them, but it’s not to be – she has to hurry back after Garth uses the salt shaker and the top falls off, pouring a mountain of the stuff over his plate. He’s very easy-going about it, but Coralynn is pissed because the same thing happened to her with the mustard, and now she’s got yellow blobs all over her white sweater [Good].
Coralynn storms to the bathroom to clean herself up while Paula apologises to Garth, who knows it was just a silly accident. And then the sound of wailing screams fills the restaurant and they’re coming from the ladies’ room! It’s just Coralynn, who claims someone switched the hot and cold water handles around and she burnt herself with scalding water. She suspects Paula, but Trixie notes that Coralynn doesn’t seem to be injured at all, so Paula reckons Coralynn made the whole thing up to humiliate her on her first day of work [This sounds much more likely to me!].
Later, Paula confides in Cookie about the tough time she’s been having and we get some more backstory – her father died last year and her mum got a job in town. Her mum’s been called out of town on business now though, and could be gone for a few weeks [Classic Point Horror parent]. Cookie thinks that last part sounds great [Same], but is sympathetic to her situation and offers to introduce her to some friends and try patch things up between Paula and Coralynn, because as Cookie puts it, “I can handle her”.
In bed that night, Paula decides that maybe Coralynn isn’t as bad as she seems, and Cookie becomes the red herring of the book:
As Paula drifted into a restless sleep, she remembered what Cookie had said about fixing things up with Coralynn, knowing how to handle her.
What did Cookie mean? Paula wondered, falling into slumber.
[Falling into Slumber is the name of my new band]. A few days later, Paula’s daydreaming in Mr Woods’ class again. Try as she might, she can’t stop thinking about Coralynn and the Dog House incident. She lusts over Garth, too, before her thoughts turn to how much Cookie has helped her ease into the waitressing job along with introducing her to a bunch of people [More about Cookie and less about Coralynn, plz!]. Finally, she wonders about the weird things that’ve been happening at the Dog House – a customer had found a note scrawled on a napkin that read “Think you’re funny? YOU JUST MIGHT DIE LAUGHING!” [????], and then there had been red dye in the ladies’ room soap dispenser [Is our bad guy doing this? What’s the point?].
Mr Woods assigns them homework before dismissing the class, but Paula wasn’t paying attention [:o!]. Before she can ask someone, Coralynn blocks her path. She wants to apologise and invites Paula to a party at the Dog House on Saturday. Paula’s reluctant to believe her at first [Good thinking, Paula!], but Coralynn absolutely won’t take no for an answer genuinely seems to want to be friends [I still wouldn’t trust her]. Paula eventually agrees to the party as they walk to Dancersise class [Hahahahaha love it] and asks her potential new friend what the homework was for Mr Woods’ class. “You pick one of the essay questions at the end of chapter five”, says Coralynn, but I bet she’s lying.
In class, Paula notices how bad Coralynn is at dancing, likening her to “a drowning person signalling frantically for help” [Guess she’s not top shit after all!].
Then Paula realises that Cookie must have talked to Coralynn, just like she said! Speaking of Cookie, it looks like she’s cutting class again because she’s nowhere to be seen. Before Paula can think any more about it, she feels a stabbing pain in the side of her head and passes out. She has a nightmare about Coralynn drowning her in a bowl of blood at the upcoming party, and when she Paula comes to, it becomes pretty clear that Coralynn had punched her:
“Ow – my head hurts,” she groaned, pressing a hand to her forehead.
Coralynn was bending over her, scowling. “Well, of course I didn’t punch you, that’s ridiculous! How dare you say that!” She stamped her foot.
“You heard her, Ms. Christiansen. She accused me of punching her. It was the first thing out of her mouth!”
Ms. Christiansen was regarding Coralynn with a cool stare.
“Hey, Coralynn, you sure whacked her!” A voice piped up from the back of the crowd.
[Who knew Dancersise class could be so dangerous?] Paula’s pretty dazed and Coralynn explains that they bumped into each other while turning. Ms. Christiansen doesn’t seem convinced, telling everyone to be careful before looking pointedly at Coralynn and adding “An accident can cause serious injury just the same as if it were done on purpose.” [Imagine punching someone in the middle of class and getting away with it? Fuck Coralynn].
Paula’s clearly concussed and takes the next day, Friday, off school. Cookie calls Saturday morning and offers to give Paula a tour of the town. Paula’s got chores and homework to do [It’s Saturday u nerd], but eventually decides that can wait until tomorrow and agrees to spend the day with Cookie. As they drive around town, Cookie points out another local hangout, Scoop’s [No points for guessing what they sell there], “where you go with date number two when you don’t want to be seen by date number one” [I love Cookie hahahaha]. She admits that keeping a secret in this town is pretty hard though, since the Dog House and Scoop’s are the only teen hangouts. Boring.
Paula wonders about Cookie – she’s pretty, funny, popular, and so carefree, but Paula feels like there’s some tension within her and she’s maybe trying too hard to have a good time. Paula asks about a closed-down drive-in restaurant they pass, but Cookie ignores the question, instead asking if Paula’s going to Coralynn’s party tonight. Cookie admits she hadn’t spoken to Coralynn about Paula yet, but is really sure that Coralynn isn’t up to anything by inviting Paula. And besides, Garth will be there [Hubba hubba!].
Now it’s Paula’s turn to change the subject and she brings up how Cookie wasn’t in Dancersise class the day of her accident. Cookie snaps at Paula, who instantly apologises, not realising it was a big deal. Cookie apologises, too, and explains she’s got a lot on her mind lately, but doesn’t want to get into it right now [Smith’s really trying to make us suspicious of Cookie, lol]. Then the girls are nearly crushed by an 18-wheeler that runs through a red light. Cookie’s a great driver though and miraculously manages to avoid a collision.
Later that evening, Paula gets ready for the party and daydreams about almost kissing Garth when her fantasy is interrupted by a phone call from our bad guy:
“You’re not a good waitress, Paula. I’ve been trying to get your attention, but you just refuse to notice me. Pretty soon I’ll have to do something drastic.”
[If the bad guy’s referring to the soap and napkin “pranks”, why the hell would Paula just assume they were for her??]
She gets a phone call from Garth next, who’s glad to hear he’ll see her at the party. He wants to drive her, but his car is in the shop. Rather than offer to drive him, which she scolds herself for afterwards, Paula awkwardly just tells him she’s getting dressed, and he lets her get back to it [She finally gets a chance for some alone time with him and the idiot completely blows it!]. She chucks on her white cashmere sweater, black jeans, short suede boots and some red lippy and away she goes, ready to impress Garth.
At the party, where there’s a guy dressed as a bat for no apparent reason by the way, Coralynn quickly humiliates poor Paula by lying about inviting her and making it seem as though Paula’s trying to steal her boyfriend [She might want to, but at least Paula’s not actively doing anything about it]. Before Garth even arrives, Coralynn throws her out, accusing her of pulling the stupid pranks at the diner since nothing had happened until Paula arrived. As Paula heads back to her car, she hears someone following her:
She was still trying desperately to stop shaking enough to place the key in the lock, when arms gripped her from behind, and a hand closed over hers, pulling the key from her grasp.
It’s just Garth though, which she learns after elbowing him [Why didn’t he yell out to her or something? Why was he just stomping along after her? Why did he take her keys? Because suspense, I guess]. He ditches the party to go to Scoop’s with Paula, where Coralynn eventually shows up, mad about Garth breaking their date. She storms off, leaving Garth to reveal that the day of Paula’s first shift was only their second date and things got weird after that, with Coralynn following him around, making plans without consulting him and even asking his friends about him [This kind of problematic behaviour is usually reserved for the protagonist’s love interest, so this is a nice little change].
Garth had already told Coralynn he just wanted to be friends, and she seemed to agree, so he decided to come to the party. He reassures Paula that he’s too much of a gentleman to do a no-show like that, and he seems pretty genuine so I reckon we trust him [For now…]. He promises to clear things up with Coralynn, but Paula feels like he’s hiding something.
Also on the date, Paula remembers the closed down drive-in restaurant and asks Garth about it, but he just says there was an accident that’s too gruesome to talk about and changes the subject [This juicy gossip better not be saved for the bad guy monologue, I want to know now!].
On Monday, Coralynn confronts Paula about stealing her boyfriend once again. She’s shaking with rage and Paula thinks Coralynn might hit her, but all she does is call her a floozie [Hahahahahaha]. Virgilia appears and defends Paula, accusing Coralynn of lying about everything. As the girls walk off, Cookie walks past, but Paula ignores her hello because she thinks she was in on the party fiasco [My Cookie would never do that, Paula!].
In English class later, Paula learns that Coralynn had told her the wrong details of the assignment [I knew it! That bitch] when she hands it in to Mr Woods. He gives her a 0 but offers her the chance to redeem herself if she does the actual assignment and an extra essay question by Thursday. Paula has no idea how’ll she get this done because she’ll be working after school every day, but Mr Woods doesn’t care about that [It’s pretty mean but also a fair call because not once in the book has Paula been paying attention in class].
By Wednesday, Paula’s managed to finish most of the assignment and Coralynn has stayed out of her way, much to her relief. In Dancersise class, the teacher has an emergency and has to leave, but selects Paula to run the class in her absence since she’s super good at the routines [How can the teacher just run off and leave a student in charge? I thought this was an actual class but maybe it’s like an extracurricular or something?] Coralynn is pissed and leaves early and Cookie fails to make an appearance, but Paula apparently does such a good job leading the routine that everyone congratulates her. OK.
When everyone else leaves, Garth appears, who’d walked past after football practice and saw how terrific she was in action. He encourages her to try out for the upcoming spring musical before Paula realises she’s running late for work and scurries off to the locker room. The lights are all off except for in the showers, and she hears water running but no-one respond when she calls out. Someone starts banging on the lockers before running out of the room, and when Paula finally makes it to her locker, the door is open with her stuff strewn about the shower room, all soggy and wet. Amongst her ruined things is her fugly waitressing uniform, not just torn to bits but covered in red lipstick [OK, I think Coralynn is definitely to blame for this, but I don’t think she’s the one pulling those lame pranks at the Dog House because they’re on very different levels. Or maybe this is the first instance of the bad guy doing “something drastic”?].
Paula arrives to work late with no uniform and Trixie is pissed, not wanting to hear excuses because she hates tardiness. Paula heads downstairs to change into a spare uniform, followed by Coralynn not long after, who tells Paula to find her own boyfriend [Omfg Coralynn, shut the fuck up about Garth already]. Afterwards when Paula heads upstairs to start her shift, she’s disappointed to see Garth sitting with Coralynn and wonders whether they’re both playing one huge joke on her.
She doesn’t have time to dwell on it, though, because the diner is busy and she needs to work. She starts to take an order, reaching into her apron pocket for a pen, but is cut by something sharp instead. It’s a steak knife [Wouldn’t you feel a steak knife in the pocket when you put the apron on? Like, wouldn’t it be heavier than usual?]. Paula gets a bandaid and decides to talk to Trixie, because “playing pranks was one thing – but knives were dangerous” [Hahahaha what a stupid line], but Trixie suggests Paula had put the knife there herself on her last shift. She explains that it happens lots of times, even to her – you realise you have too much silverware for the table and drop one in the pocket, meaning to take it back. Paula must have just forgotten [Seems pretty farfetched… Again, wouldn’t you notice there’s a knife in your apron before cutting yourself on it?].
Paula promises to be more careful and heads back to the busy dining room, where Virgilia’s struggling with some orders. She asks Paula to help her by taking Coralynn her order, and Paula thinks it’s weird that it’s a covered plate. When she serves it to Coralynn, she sees why – it’s a big, fat dying rat! [Weird that Virgilia asked Paula to take Coralynn’s dish when she knows about all the issues they’ve had, but surely Virgilia isn’t to blame for the rat?! I refuse to believe Cookie did it. Trixie is the only other person we know of that works at the diner, but I guess Coralynn would also have access, since Trixie’s her aunt, and could have done it herself to frame Paula. Who’s responsible?! So many suspects, so little patience].
Classic Coralynn accuses Paula of putting the rat there [Will she ever say anything that doesn’t involve accusing Paula of something?] and people start to leave. Trixie dismisses Coralynn’s claims, knowing that Paula would handle a rat just as much as either of them would. Virgilia takes the rat out to the dumpster while Garth takes Coralynn home because he feels bad, but promises to come right back to talk with Paula.
It turns out the rat was just a lifelike, battery-operated toy, which Paula explains to Garth after work. Garth then clarifies that he was only there with Coralynn to explain he didn’t want to go out with her, and apologises if Paula thought he was on a date. Paula shows him a check she’d found on one of the tables that says “Better watch out or you will have a bad accident”, but Garth reckons the pranks are probably just someone, or a few people, blowing off steam, stressed about high school. The topic turns to their own futures after high school before the pair kiss. They’re too caught up in all this pashing to notice an unknown person watching them from the darkness [Who’s the perv?!].
As she drives home, Paula can’t stop thinking about the “tingling warmth” of Garth’s kisses [I think that’s herpes, girl!] before her thoughts turn to Virgilia. Was it just a coincidence that Virgilia had called Coralynn a rat earlier in the week, and then was served a rat at the diner [Yes]? And Virgilia was so casual about taking it to the dumpster – was it because she knew it was fake all along? Silly Paula is too busy daydreaming again to realise her car is making funny noises until it breaks down on Lonesome Lane, a road flanked by trees on both sides with their branches forming a canopy overheard [Of course it’s called Lonesome Lane and of course it’s ooky spooky, lol].
Soon enough, Cookie drives past on her motorbike, but upon inspection can’t work out what’s wrong with the car. She also asks what’s going on between them, so Paula confronts her about being in on Coralynn’s little party prank. Cookie explains that the music was so loud that she hadn’t heard anything Coralynn had said from where she was standing and had just assumed Paula had left early with Garth [Now go punch yourself for ever thinking sweet Cookie could ever be so mean, Paula]. The girls reconcile and Cookie offers to give her a ride, except she only has one helmet.
Luckily, Trixie drives past and Paula is relieved to get a lift with her instead. On the car ride, Trixie talks about how Cookie reminds her of herself at that age and mentions she gave Cookie a job after the drive-in restaurant closed, where Cookie used to work. Paula presses for more information and Trixie is happy to oblige:
“A guy from the high school died. Keeled right over onto his plate. But I, for one, don’t think she had anything to do with it,” she said firmly.
Paula’s eyes widened. “That’s terrible! W-what did he die of?” she asked, pointing to her house.
Trixie pulled the car into Paula’s driveway. Then she turned to face her. “Food poisoning,” she said.
[Was food poisoning more dangerous in the ‘90s? Like, it’s a big deal he died but Trixie’s making it seem so menacing and horrific?? And @ Garth earlier, how is that too gruesome to speak about?] Waiting at home for Paula is a message on the answering machine from her mother, who’s had to extend her trip a few days, and another from the bad guy, who tells Paula to stick her head out the window, but make sure it’s closed first [Good one…??]. Next, as Paula settles down to finish her English homework, a rock smashes through the window! The next-door neighbour, Mr. Tucker, investigates and chases someone down the road while Paula cleans up the glass. After a short while, he returns with the culprit – Garth!
Garth explains he just came by to check she got home OK after bumping into Cookie while out walking, and saw someone skulking around the garden. Whoever it was got away before Garth could grab them, then Mr. Tucker had grabbed him. Mr. Tucker isn’t buying that story but I think Garth’s been a genuine guy so far so we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.
The next morning, Paula finishes the assignment before school and manages to make it through the day on four hours’ sleep [Welcome to my life, Paula]. After school she bumps into Cookie, who finally reveals what’s been on her mind lately. She was thinking about dropping out of school to become a manager at the Dog House, since Trixie offered to train her, but has ultimately decided to stay in school so she doesn’t limit herself for the future [Very smart! Would be a tempting offer at that stage in life but what happens when you want a career change? I want my girl Cookie to succeed].
Speaking of Trixie, Paula brings up what she’d said about the death at the drive-in, and Cookie goes into more detail for us. Jeff, the guy who died, was an obnoxious jerk and Cookie had gotten into an argument with him and his friends while serving his table the day he died. Garth saw all this and jumped in, and things got heated until the owner had to break things up. Jeff and his friends stuck around and about an hour later, Jeff was complaining about stomach pains before dropping dead [That’ll teach him!]. It was Jeff’s friends that started the rumour about Cookie and Garth being involved in his death, which confuses Paula, since Trixie had said he died of food poisoning:
Cookie frowned. “Trixie and her gossip – she always get something turned around. It wasn’t food poisoning. Someone put poison in the food.”
[That makes a lot more sense, glad we got that cleared up]. Cookie heads to work, but Paula’s got the day off, the lucky gal. She heads to a pay phone and calls the mechanic, where she’d had her car towed earlier, who reveals that someone had poured a heap of sugar in her car tank. It’ll cost a lot and the car will have to stay in the shop a few days but Paula needs her car [Even though she’s got her mum’s at the moment anyway, just use that for now?] and agrees.
Next, Paula hears some commotion at one of the lockers and investigates, where she finds Virgilia. Her computer discs, where she’d been storing a research project in order to get a scholarship, are missing! Virgilia’s not someone who would just lose something, so she knows someone stole them from her locker somehow. As she storms off to report the incident, Paula notices dozens of plastic toy bugs in individual bags inside Virgilia’s locker, then realises that wherever you can find plastic bugs, you can probably find a toy rat, too [Well, my first thought was that the toy bugs had something to do with the research project, but sure, let’s go down this path].
The next morning, Garth gives Paula a ride to school and we get this weird exchange:
“Hi, beautiful,” he said, smiling.
“Thanks,” she said, smiling back.
[It’s probably not that weird but it’s so jarring to me to not say hi back?]. Anyway, she tells him about her car and Virgilia’s locker and he rules Coralynn out as a suspect because she doesn’t know enough about Cars and explains that Virgilia’s idea of fun is to go to a lecture, not scare people with plastic toys. Besides, he knows for a fact that Virgilia uses the plastic bugs to illustrate some of her science project [I knew it, too, Paula. Use your noodle].
At work later, the Dog House is pretty dead because apparently no-one wants to eat there after the rat incident. Mr. Woods, who’s involved in the upcoming spring musical, arrives to drop a script off for Paula. He admits that he may have been too hard on her in the past, but hopes she can start paying more attention from now on [We gotta stan a Point Horror adult who can admit he’s wrong!]. It’s also revealed that Trixie and Mr. Woods went to high school together, but Trixie doesn’t seem that interested in talking with him.
Mr. Woods is craving “a soyburger and a lovely green salad with gobs of tofu and tahini dressing”, which sounds quite nice, but if it’s not deep fried and full of fat it’s not on the Dog House menu, so he settles for a coffee. Paula spots him eating from a plate later though and assumes he found something to eat, and not long after that he’s doubled over in pain, clutching his stomach [More poison?!? Surely Trixie’s responsible. Cookie’s on shift but I’m still not considering her a suspect]. An ambulance is called and Mr. Woods is taken away while Trixie, Cookie and Paula close the diner early, because as Trixie puts it, “Ambulances are always bad for business”.
As Paula drives home, she realises she left the spring musical script at the Dog House. She’d promised Mr. Woods she’d be careful with it after he made a big deal about how expensive making copies is [Lol, the ‘90s, everyone!]. Not wanting it to be thrown out tomorrow before she has a chance to retrieve it, she turns the car around and heads back to work.
When she arrives to the darkened restaurant, she’s surprised to find the front door unlocked. She ventures inside with her keychain flashlight [Hahahaha] anyway, and searches the shelves behind the counter. Paula hears some noises before the light in the cellar is switched on. She calls out, but instead of a reply, the cellar lights are turned off and in a panic, Paula drops her flashlight and the bulb breaks. She hears someone coming up the stairs from the cellar and tries to escape, but can’t find the door in the darkness. Her pursuer quickly catches her and turns her around in circles over and over again [??? That’s a weird thing to do…], then eventually ties her hands behind her back and blindfolds her.
The lights come on again and Paula realises she’s standing in front of a sink, so must be in the kitchen. Her captor toys with her a bit, smashing plates and turning on stoves and whatnot, verbally taunting Paula the whole time, and Paula eventually realises it’s none other than Trixie!
Trixie is mad about how all the teens think they’re better than her because she dropped out of school and they have their whole careers ahead of them, and doesn’t want to hear any of Paula’s protests. As she rattles on, Paula realises her hands were bound using an apron, and quickly loosens it to free her hands and remove her blindfold. Scanning the kitchen for some kind of defence, she settles on some cartons of eggs that she hurls at the floor as Trixie heads towards her [Hahahahahaha probably wouldn’t be my first line of defence but it does the job I guess].
Trixie slips on the slimy mess but quickly gets up again, and Paula realises her plan got her no closer to escaping through the door. Her only option is to head down to the cellar, but she trips on a loose tread and tumbles down the stairs. Injured, she’s unable to fight Trixie off when she drags her to the freezer and locks her inside, and this is Paula’s first thought:
Now I finally know what happens to the light in the refrigerator when you close the door.
[Hahahaha Paula you’re about to freeze to death, you’ve got more important things to worry about]. After realising that pesky Trixie has removed the safety handle, Paula loosens a screw and manages to get the door open [Wait, why didn’t Trixie just lock her in the fridge to kill her? That’s the one with no safety handle and no ventilation?] Back up in the restaurant, Trixie’s nowhere to be found, and Paula quickly escapes to her car and starts driving home. For whatever stupid reason, her plan is to call Garth as soon as she gets home, and then the police [Bitch, just drive to the police station?!]. She soon realises she’s being tailgated by a red sedan, who’s driver is honking and flashing his lights at her every so often. I immediately know what the driver’s up to, but Paula’s never seen ‘Urban Legend’ so she speeds up and changes lanes to lose him, and that’s when she notice Trixie in the back seat of her car, holding a knife.
There’s a brief bad guy monologue as Trixie admits to poisoning Jeff last year when he stopped by the Dog House before heading to the drive-in restaurant. She was sick of him always bragging about his scholarship and acting all high and mighty. Paula’s nowhere near as bad as Jeff, but Trixie was the one spying on her make-out sesh with Garth and heard them discussing their plans for the future. Unimpressed, Trixie decided Paula must go, too.
Paula starts driving recklessly until the knife is thrown from Trixie’s hands and the car comes to a stop. Paula’s ready to jump out the door and start running, but notices Trixie’s whole demeanour has changed – she’s now sobbing in the backseat, babbling on about how year after year she has to train a new batch of teens who eventually leave for college, while dumb old Trixie is stuck at the diner [The poor thing is having a midlife crisis! Also, what a terribly anticlimactic showdown].
Paula feels sad for her because Trixie’s feelings of inferiority were all in her head, and the teens all really looked up to her in reality [I feel really bad for Trixie, too. Not that there’s anything wrong with spending your whole career in hospitality, but the poor woman obviously wasn’t enjoying it anymore but felt stuck there anyway]. Paula drives her to the police station and we jump to the next day, where Paula’s spilling all the details to Garth, Cookie and Virgilia.
It turns out not all the pranks were specifically aimed at Paula, like the notes on the checks/napkins which were simply for whoever found them, and it was most likely Coralynn who trashed her locker that one time. Virgilia guesses Trixie was the one who stole the discs containing her research project and Cookie suggests she was never a victim of a prank herself because Trixie was expecting her to follow in her footsteps [Nothing like an exposition dump in the final chapters to explain everything!].
A few weeks later, Trixie’s cousin, Shep, has taken over running the Dog House, so the girls got to keep their jobs. We also find out that Mr. Woods is fine and wasn’t poisoned at all, he just had appendicitis [Well, that was pointless], and Paula got a dancer role in the spring musical. Show off those Dancersise skills, Paula!
Coralynn also gets a bit of comeuppance when Shep catches her trying to leave the Dog House without paying her bill for the third time. He doesn’t care that Trixie let her eat for free and since the idiot’s got no money, he makes her wash dishes to cover it. The book ends with a smile from Paula as she hands the bitch some soap.
Final Thoughts
This one was OK, but realistically it was another book of not much happening. Even though a guy had been murdered and there was all these pranks going on, for some reason it didn’t feel like anyone was in any danger until Paula’s showdown with Trixie at the end. I didn’t hate the book, but didn’t love it either. Paula was a decent protagonist but Cookie was the real star for sure.
The book could have been improved by having people actually talk down to Trixie so that her actions, although still a bit questionable motive-wise, would have been more justified, rather than be because of how she felt people were perceiving her, which is a pretty dumb reason.
Oh well. I liked Sinclair Smith’s way of writing, too, but ultimately the book wasn’t very interesting or super boring either, so it’ll be interesting to see what her other books are like. For this one though, 3 fake rats on a plate out of 11.
